When I was in primary school, we learnt about the creation myths that different groups of people came up with to explain why things were the way they were. Most of them were very interesting, much more so than the boring scientific explanation behind such phenomena as the rising of the moon, setting of the sun and so on.
What was not included in our textbooks, though, was a chapter on various myths about education that the parents in my time entertained. I will attempt to shed light on some of these myths.
1. Myth: Bathing with cold water is good for young people. It makes them tough and alert.
Truth: No, it does not. It merely makes them hate cold water or avoid bathing altogether. Just consider your average boda boda rider.
2. Myth: Boarding schools are places where young people learn important life lessons they cannot learn at home.
Truth: I guess so. I mean, it is rather difficult to hone one’s thieving skills under the watchful eye of a parent or guardian.
3. Children should not be fed good food in school. It will make them too comfortable.
Truth: We now have a generation of hungry, angry people in positions of influence, who have been starving since their school days and are now attempting to make up for lost time by eating the country, piece by piece.
4. Myth: Sciences are the key to success in life. Everyone must excel in the sciences.
Truth: You can lead a cow to the Science lab, but you cannot make it successfully titrate a solution. Neither can you enter this cow’s brain and make it understand Physics. Maybe it can absorb a bit of Biology as it chews the cud, but that is absolutely it.
5. Myth: Homework is good. More homework is even better. It is a sign that the teachers are hard at work.
Truth: If this is true, how come, having done all their homework, no opposition candidate has ever been successful in the elections?
6. Myth: There is a direct correlation between corporal punishment and passing exams
Truth: Are high-yield dairy cows beaten twice a day for a specific number of minutes? I rest my case!