You can’t beat a good old fashioned diamond heist to make media headlines around the world. Even better when it involves an iconic institution like the Louvre museum in Paris home of the much loved Mona Lisa.
Adding to the interest is the sheer audacity of the heist made by four men in broad daylight and taking less than eight minutes to complete.
The brazen nature of the heist and its simplicity has been extremely embarrassing for officials having to admit they had lost a slice of French history. When the Louvre director addressed staff after the heist she was greeted with a chorus of boos as they had regularly complained security was not up to standard.
At the time of writing the culprits haven’t been caught. Perhaps they should put Inspector Clouseau on the case. His investigative skills would prove very useful in this situation. With his infallible philosophy “I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one” he would undoubtedly quickly sort things out.
It is not the first time the Louvre has had a problem with thieves. In 2013 it had to close down for a day after staff walked out complaining that the place was being overrun by “aggressive pickpockets”, including gangs of children. Even the staff were being regularly “dipped” by the gangs.
It’s not just in Paris of course. The New Orleans police department used to display a splendid sign “Beware of Pickpockets and Loose Women”. Now that’s a wicked combination.
The Bangkok heist
I recall back in 1994 in Bangkok we had a rather entertaining diamond heist at a jewellery fair being held at the Convention Centre on Ratchadapisek.
Staff from one major jeweller were transferring six bags of diamonds worth millions of baht inside the exhibition site. Suddenly they were confronted by the sight of US$100 (3,266 baht today) banknotes lying in front of them on the floor. They couldn’t believe their luck and promptly put down their bags of diamonds to scoop up their unexpected bonus.
It will come as no surprise that when they turned to pick up the diamonds, the bags were gone along with a suspicious gentleman who was spotted scuttling out of a door. The fellow jumped on a waiting motorcycle and that was the last anyone saw of him or the bangles.
To rub it in those seductive $100 bills presumably planted by the thief’s accomplice, turned out to be counterfeit.
Hard to swallow
In 2015 a less successful attempt to steal a large diamond in Bangkok involved a Chinese woman who was arrested after apparently swallowing a 10-million baht diamond at a jewellery fair. What prompted considerable comment was the means by which the precious stone was extracted from her stomach. After laxatives failed to work it was determined that a much more direct approach was required, using a pair of surgical pliers. Judging from the look on the lady’s face following the successful extraction, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
There was also considerable debate whether the hot rock had gained or lost value since its little adventure. After all, it didn’t exactly take the scenic route. One suspects there were not many hi-so ladies in Bangkok who would be too keen on showing off the diamond if they knew where it had been.
Girl’s best friend
There is no doubt that diamonds have a special allure for film stars. Marilyn Monroe didn’t do the reputation of diamonds any harm in the 1953 film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. It is in this production she performed that memorable song, “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”. The song includes the immortal line: “A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental.” It was one of Monroe’s best performances.
Another actress Zsa Zsa Gabor got through her fair share of husbands and collected more than a few bangles on the way. She might have experienced difficulty keeping her husbands, but heroically hung on to her jewellery without any problem. As Zsa Zsa once explained: “I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.” That was very considerate.
News from the loos
Any mention of the Louvre always reminds me of a magnificent newspaper misprint many years ago. It was in the days when reporters used public telephones to send in their stories to the newsdesk. If the line was bad it could have unfortunate results.
It was such a call that led to the following slip that appeared in the Times. Explaining why it is necessary to charge entrance fees to art exhibitions in London, a British minister was quoted as saying: “You expect to pay for going to the loos.”
The next day the furious reporter was spotted informing a red-faced sub-editor who transcribed his call, that he was talking about the Louvre museum and not the toilets.
Sorry teacher
A bad phone line prompted the following apology in a British newspaper: “A report on the Irish church leaders meeting should have stated that Cardinal Conway’s use of the word ‘horizon’ was ‘prophetic’. Because of a mishearing it appeared as ‘pathetic’.?”
Another dodgy telephone line prompted the following splendid correction in an American newspaper: “It was incorrectly reported that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.”