The hyper-connected, open-plan, always-online workplace makes it easy to confuse camaraderie with career growth.
We all want to be liked at work. We gravitate toward people who laugh at our jokes, vent with us about tough clients, and maybe even share a matatu route home. But when it comes to professional development, liking someone, or being liked, is not enough.
The hard truth is this: if your goal is to grow, lead, and thrive in your career, you do not need a bestie in the office. You need a mentor.
Having a work bestie can feel like the perfect safety net. They ‘get’ you. They have seen your bad days, covered for you when you were late, and exchanged a thousand memes with you during long afternoons. They may even be your constant companion at team lunches.
But this comfort, while emotionally satisfying, can quietly stall your progress. Work besties are usually peers-people at the same level of experience and influence. That means they’re often in no better position than you are to help shape your career strategy or guide your next step. In fact, they may unconsciously prefer things to stay as they are, because your growth could shift the balance of the friendship.
A mentor, on the other hand, is not invested in maintaining the status quo. Their role is to challenge your assumptions, stretch your vision, and push you, gently or firmly, out of your comfort zone. As human-resource consultant and career coach James Watare puts it: ‘Look for someone who has been where you want to go and is willing to show you how they got there. Mentors do not just approve your ideas; they question them, refine them, and help you act on them.’
His experience coaching young professionals in Kenya reinforces that mentorship is not a ‘nice to have’ but a fundamental step in career growth.
‘A mentor brings something your bestie often cannot: perspective. They have experience, both in your industry and within the organisation, and can help you see opportunities and pitfalls you might otherwise miss,’ he says.
While a bestie will validate your feelings after a difficult meeting, a mentor will ask what you might do differently next time. A bestie will sympathise with your frustrations; a mentor will encourage you to find solutions.
‘Too often, I see young professionals message recruiters or seniors with ‘Hi, any job?’-no structure, no clarity,’ Mr Watare notes. ‘The same lack of intention shows up when they choose mentors. They look for someone nice instead of someone strategic.’
None of this diminishes the value of emotional support. In high-pressure environments, having someone to talk to can make the difference between burnout and balance.
But emotional support is not the same as professional development. Besties may always be on your side, but mentors are on the side of your progress, and that sometimes means hearing what you don’t want to.
Kenyan cultural challenges
The Kenyan workplace brings its own cultural challenges to mentorship. Hierarchies, age gaps, and unspoken rules can make approaching a senior colleague feel intimidating. There is a fine line between being eager and being seen as overly ambitious.
But mentorship does not have to be formal. It often starts with curiosity, observation, and small conversations.
Mr Watare advises professionals to notice how seniors respond to client push-back, handle negotiations, or lead discussions. ‘Then ask for five minutes after a meeting: ‘What would you have done differently?’ That’s how informal mentorship begins,’ he says.