For most couples, six decades of marriage would be a distant dream. For Dr Ezra Nkwasibwe, 88, and his wife, Loi Busingye Nkwasibwe, 87, their 61-year journey has been held together by an unusual glue; the fear of embarrassment. The couple, who wedded in 1965 after a seven-year courtship, say avoiding scandalous acts and resolving misunderstandings immediately have been the secrets to their enduring union. They also credit a deep reverence for God, a dread of public shame, and a conscious choice to protect their reputation as children of prominent Anglican church leaders.
A union rooted in discipline and devotion
Dr Nkwasibwe is a trained medical doctor from Makerere University. He served as a former Minister of Animal Industry and Fisheries in the UNLF government and as a former Minister of Health in the Obote II regime. He is also a former Member of Parliament for Kabale East. He is a son of the late Zabroni Rushundahire, an Anglican catechist.
Loi Busingye Nkwasibwe holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from the University of Nairobi and a postgraduate diploma in education from Makerere University. She made history as one of the first female Members of Parliament during the National Resistance Council. She later became a successful businesswoman in Kabale Town. She is a daughter of the late Reverend Kezekiya Kasisiri.
The courtship that lasted seven years
Dr Nkwasibwe was in Senior Three at Nyakasura School when he first noticed Busingye, who was then a Senior Two student at Gayaza High School. He says her beauty and elegance attracted him to Busingye.
‘Beyond her physical appearance, she was well-disciplined and from a respectable family,’ Nkwasibwe says.
Busingye says she was naturally drawn to Dr Nkwasibwe, whom she describes as a humble and brilliant young man who was fluent in speaking the English language.
The secrets to a strong marriage
When asked to break down six decades of marriage into guiding principles, the couple offers several secrets.
The first secret is the fear of God, as their spiritual foundation has been reinforced by regular church attendance.
The second secret is the fear of embarrassment, as the dread of public shame has acted as a powerful deterrent against reckless behaviour. The third secret is avoiding scandalous acts altogether. Busingye adds that being children of former Anglican Church leaders scared them away from committing scandalous acts that would affect their marriage, as they always knew people were watching.
Longevity beyond politics
Dr Nkwasibwe credits his longevity and respectability to living a private life without antagonising those in power. When the Obote II government was overthrown, he decided to concentrate on operating a medical clinic in Kabale Town. He says he completely forgot about politics and never looked back.
Busingye took a similar path. After serving her term as a Member of Parliament, she chose not to seek re-election. She supported Hope Mwesigye, who won and represented Kabale District in the Constituent Assembly. She advises younger politicians to give space to others and not to cling to power.
The early life and education
Dr Nkwasibwe was born in 1938 in Ibugwe Mparo in Rukiga District. He was the third-born child of the late Zabroni Rushundahire, an Anglican catechist, and the late Yoniya Karerere. He attended Nyeikunama Church School, Nyabirerema Primary School, and Nyakatare Primary School. He later joined Kigezi High School and then Nyakasura Secondary School, where he attained his Cambridge O- Level certificate. He was admitted to Makerere University for an intermediary course before enrolling for a bachelor’s degree in medicine, which he completed in 1964.
He went on to serve as a senior casualty officer at Mulago Hospital and later as the in-charge at Arua Hospital. He won a scholarship to study a postgraduate diploma in Ophthalmology. When Idi Amin took power, he was transferred to Masaka hospital to oversee ophthalmology tasks in the western region. He retired from public service and started a private medical clinic in Kabale Town. After the fall of Amin, he was appointed Minister of Animal Industry and Fisheries. In 1980, he was elected MP for Kabale East and later appointed Minister of Health in the Obote II government until it was overthrown. Since then, he has lived a private lifestyle.
Busingye was born in 1939 in Kabale Town to the late Reverend Kezekiya Kasisiri and the late Agnes Wa-Kasheija. She studied at Hornby High School and Gayaza High School, where she attained her O-Level certificate. She earned a Bachelor’s degree in Fine Art from the University of Nairobi and a postgraduate diploma in teacher education from Makerere University.
She taught at Makerere College School and later at Masaka Secondary School before leaving to join her husband in a private lifestyle. In 1989, she was elected as a Member of Parliament during the National Resistance Council.
Advice for politicians
Dr Nkwasibwe says politicians must avoid corruption at all costs and should fear taking what does not belong to them. He also advises that leaders must respect the opinions of other leaders and must be tolerant of others. Busingye adds that politicians must leave political space for younger politicians. ‘If you want a peaceful retirement, you should start preparing for it the very day you take office,’ she says.
A lasting legacy of love and discipline
Today, at 88 and 87 years of age, the Nkwasibwes remain together, and their marriage is as vibrant as ever. They attend church regularly and receive visitors who seek their counsel.
Busingye says marriage is not about never fighting, but about fighting and then forgiving before the sun goes down. She adds that it is about remembering that people are watching your example and about choosing every single day to protect each other’s name.