My children have very few words. And Rapha, who is…let me see…the fourth, has the fewest. But he springs rather stirring questions which I struggle with. So, recently, as I talked him to sleep, he raised the issue of public transport in the United States, and asked me whether America has boda bodas. I kept quiet for a while. How do you explain political economy to a child? Slowly, I gave him a brief history of the two countries.
Told him the US was born out of the American Revolution, in which 13 British colonies broke away from Great Britain and eventually formed an independent republic. The central figure of the revolution was the Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army, George Washington, who led the fight against the British. Following the British surrender at the Siege of Yorktown, he resigned his military commission and returned home rather than seize power. Later, after serving two presidential terms, the second one, out of necessity and against his personal preference, he voluntarily stepped down, even though there were no term limits.
People were shocked. King George III of Great Britain remarked that if Washington gave up power and returned to private life, ‘he will be the greatest man in the world.’ Turning to Uganda, I explained to Rapha that our country, as it is today, is the product of the 1981 to 1986 revolution that brought the National Resistance Movement (NRM) to power when I was 14 and a half. But unlike Washington, the leader of the Ugandan revolution was much more enlightened: I’ll be 55 in a fortnight, and he’s still President. So, no, there’s no boda boda transport in America, I said. Countries such as the US, Germany, France, and Japan remain trapped in primitive thinking. Very backward. They waste billions of dollars on a very efficient and highly complex system of trains, subways, tram systems, public buses, and airlines.
I told Rapha that Uganda was once in danger of descending to that level. We had public buses and trains criss-crossing the country. Major towns had town service buses moving people in and around the town. But fortunately, the revolution in 1986 arrived just in time and saved us the inconvenience of such outdated ideas. Under the visionary leadership of the NRM, we ran down the bus companies and sold off all their assets; we ran down the Uganda Railways Corporation. Even the railway lines were plucked out of the ground in most of the country…and smelted. We ran down Uganda Airlines. Upcountry airports died out. We then ingeniously embraced the future: a boda boda economy. We began with bicycles, then graduated to motorcycles.
Kampala has perfected a transportation model in which every citizen can enjoy a personalised near-death experience on the back of a boda boda at speeds which make hair fly, clothes scatter, and hearts pound. Young men sell all their land in the village to buy just one motorcycle. No training, no license, no nothing – and bang! – they’re in business. This creates mass employment, congestion, pollution, accidents, and hospital admissions all at the same time-a remarkable example of economic diversification. Brilliant, ingenious innovation! The Americans can’t catch up. And it’s their fault. In 250 years, America has had 45 presidents.
What the heck for? Uganda chose a more scientific approach. Why experiment with leadership when you have already found the answer? If a medicine works, you don’t change it. If a president is great, continue electing him until archaeology becomes the primary method of studying his early years. The current president will have served 45 years in 2031, and will be eligible for re-election, taking him to 50. No American child can name all the presidents in their history – yet they could have solved this problem the Ugandan way by having just five over 250 years.
Western countries develop systems and institutions, Uganda developed personalities. Many countries prepare for the future; Uganda lives for today. Every election is still described as a turning point, every Cabinet reshuffle as a fresh beginning, every slogan as a new dawn, and every promise as a breakthrough waiting patiently to happen. Our hope is dope! We are ready to help America to reach our level – but they should be humble and ask nicely. Rapha was impressed.