Last week, we began a new journey into one of the most fascinating parts of being human: the mind. We discovered that not every thought deserves our belief and introduced the idea of cognitive distortions, those hidden thinking patterns that can quietly influence the way we see ourselves, other people and the world around us.
This week, let us talk about something almost everyone has experienced at one time or another: overthinking.
Have you ever replayed a conversation in your mind long after it had ended? Perhaps you kept asking yourself, ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’ ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.’ ‘What must they be thinking about me now?’
Or maybe you lay awake in bed, exhausted but unable to sleep because your mind simply refused to switch off. One thought led to another. Then another. Before you knew it, you had imagined every possible outcome, solved problems that did not yet exist, replayed old mistakes and worried about tomorrow, all before sunrise.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many people think overthinking is a sign that they are being responsible or careful. After all, isn’t it good to think things through before making a decision? Yes, it is, but there is an important difference between thinking and overthinking.
Imagine driving from Ibadan to Lagos. Reflection is like using a GPS. It helps you choose the best route, avoid obstacles and eventually reach your destination. Overthinking, however, is like driving round and round the same roundabout without ever taking an exit. You are moving, but you are not making progress.
Psychologists call this rumination. Rumination is the habit of repeatedly going over the same thoughts, worries or painful experiences without arriving at a helpful solution. Instead of helping us move forward, it keeps us emotionally stuck.
Reflection asks, ‘What can I learn from this experience?’ Rumination asks, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ over and over again. Reflection leads to growth. Rumination often leads to exhaustion. So why does the brain do this? The answer lies in one of the brain’s most important jobs: keeping us safe. Your brain is constantly trying to predict what might happen next so it can protect you from danger. Sometimes, however, it mistakes uncertainty for danger. When that happens, it keeps replaying situations, searching for answers, looking for mistakes or trying to prepare for every possible outcome.
The problem is that the brain cannot solve problems that exist only in our imagination. Instead, it becomes trapped in a cycle of ‘what ifs.’
‘What if I fail?’
‘What if they reject me?’
‘What if I made a mistake?’
‘What if something terrible happens?’
The more we entertain these thoughts, the louder they become. Ironically, overthinking rarely gives us the clarity we are looking for. Instead, it steals our peace, interrupts our sleep, drains our energy and makes even simple decisions feel overwhelming.
Have you noticed that overthinking often becomes worse at night? There is a reason for that. During the day, our minds are occupied with work, family and daily activities. But when the world becomes quiet, the mind finally has space to wander. If we have unresolved worries, that quietness can quickly become a breeding ground for endless mental replay.
The good news is that overthinking is not a life sentence. The first step towards breaking the cycle is recognising when you have moved from productive thinking into unproductive rumination. Ask yourself: ‘Am I solving this problem, or am I simply replaying it?’ That one question can make all the difference.
Next week, we will explore another common thinking trap known as catastrophising: the habit of expecting the worst, even when there is little evidence that it will happen. But before we meet again, I would like you to pay attention to one particular habit of the mind.
Have you ever experienced a minor setback and immediately imagined the worst possible outcome? A headache suddenly becomes a brain tumour. A delayed phone call convinces you that something terrible has happened. One mistake at work makes you believe your career is over.
This pattern of thinking is one of the most common cognitive distortions, and it quietly robs many people of their peace long before anything has actually happened. Why does the mind do this? Can we train it to respond differently? That is exactly what we will explore in the next episode.
Until then, pay attention to your thoughts, but remember: just because your mind predicts the worst does not mean the worst is about to happen. Not every thought deserves your time, your energy or your belief.