That day, the Safe Boda message read, ‘And you are still there proving loyalty to a company that did not ask for a sacrifice. Save yourself. Take a safe car now.’
First of all, high five to whoever comes up with those promotional messages. I hope they are not AI-generated, but even if they are, a low five to them for at least crafting a perfect prompt that yields witty, relatable results.
Back to that message, it reminded me that maintaining boundaries must be added to the list of personal key performance indicator objectives. Do not sacrifice yourself at the office altar. It does not want you, not like that. Hard work pays, but you have got to be alive first to work hard.
Office politics has a life of its own. The quicker you master it, the better for us all. Take office mail, for instance. This is a kind reminder that office mail is not the place to express your raw feelings about things and people.
It is a place of veiled threats, diplomatic mysteries, assertion of borrowed power and vague responses. Every email, regardless of what it is about, must end kindly, warmly and with regards. Even if you detest or are mad at the person, you cannot sign off with, ‘Yours in protest’, ‘I am not yours, even’, ‘No kind regards for you today,’ or ‘Cold, angry regards’, among others. You must be civil or pretend to be.
Do not take your shrink too seriously when they tell you to always speak your mind or be your true, authentic self with everyone. What they did not say is that the office mailbox is not a safe place. We will listen, read and judge you.
They say the internet never forgets. Well, at least the comments and reactions will be right there in your face. Office mail, however, will attract many eyeballs, but the comments and reactions will mostly be behind your back. You will only realise that everyone, including the boss, saw it when you are slowly edged out of meetings and work engagements and eventually off the premises with nothing but a faded, oversized company T-shirt.
So, by all means, do not be yourself. Do not say what you really mean or say it how you really mean it. No one cares about your feelings. Save that for the people at home, and even that is debatable.
If you have nothing usefully safe to say, just respond with, ‘This is noted, thank you, and kind regards.’ We know you were the valedictorian in your year for that master’s degree in blunt speaking, but first, put a pin in that.
For the real, deep, unedited, say-it-like-it-is opinions, find a tree somewhere in your compound, identify a specific paver outside your house or, if you have dogs, chickens, PDM pigs, cows or rabbits, find those things. Make sure no one is within listening distance, then talk to them. Tell them all your troubles.
Then take a walk around the block and, afterwards, go type your office mail. If all of that fails, find a kind human being, preferably outside the office, or a shrink, if you can afford it.
Do not show office people that side of you. We do not want it. We have our own undignified problems to deal with. Keep yours for after work.
The office is not the place to deal with unresolved childhood trauma. Those people you share office space with are not your friends. Work colleagues, yes. Best friends for life, no. Do not get carried away because you shared cake, a photo moment and a toilet bowl. Take the ‘my door is always open for you’ line with a Sinotruk of salt.
If you are one of the lucky few, you might end up having some lifelong friendships that grow from the office, but not everyone is lucky like that.
For perspective and grounding, every morning, before you go in, please remind thyself: it is first a place of business before anything else. So, fix your poker face, then walk in.