Last week, we saw that as a Roman coin is stamped with the face of Caesar, we bear the indelible image and likeness of our Creator. As we repay to Caesar what belongs to him, we also return to God what is God’s-all that we are.
But wait… there’s more that Jesus’ masterstroke reply can teach us…
In our Gospel today (Matthew 22:34-40), Jesus synthesizes all 613 individual commandments of the Torah, the Law of the Jews, into just two: ‘You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind,’ and ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Why love your neighbor? Because your neighbor bears the image and likeness of the God we love.
Basil Valdez sings: ‘Labis kitang mahal, pangalawa sa Maykapal.’ God holds supreme place in our hearts. But while God should always be our highest priority, he is not always first in the immediate order of time or action. For example, imagine you are a doctor on your way to Sunday Mass when you come across a bystander having a heart attack. Do you keep going, saying, ‘God wouldn’t want me to be late for Mass’? Or do you stop and say, ‘God would want me to save this person right now’? In that moment, saving a life is how you worship God. Jesus once quoted Hosea 6:6 and said, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’
But it doesn’t stop at loving your neighbor. Remember Jesus’ words: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Why love yourself? Because you also bear the image and likeness of the God we love.
Love your God, love your neighbor, love yourself. This has been popularized using the acronym JOY: Jesus first, Others next, You last. That is supposedly the secret to true happiness. While catchy, this risks imposing a rigid hierarchy onto Jesus’ words. Again, God claims our ultimate devotion, but this doesn’t mean treating yourself as an afterthought.
A similarly pious but flawed formula states: ‘The best for God and for others; the worst for me.’ But this kind of martyr complex is not sustainable. Live like this, and you will eventually burn out. Then your cold ashes will have no warmth to give anyone.
Self-care is not just a modern psychological buzzword. This is also embedded in Church teaching. Consider our Sunday obligation. The Church teaches that if you are sick, you are exempt from attending Mass. Not going to the Eucharist in that situation is not a sin. At that moment, you must love yourself, prioritize your health, and live another day to worship God and serve your neighbor. Loving yourself is not a luxury saved for whatever energy remains; it is a necessity that helps us to love God and love others well.
Authentic self-love is not selfish. In his classic work, The Art of Loving, psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm teaches that self-love is actually the prerequisite for unselfish behavior. He writes, ‘The selfish person does not love himself too much, but too little; in fact, he hates himself.’ A person who lacks authentic self-love experiences constant internal emptiness and anxiety. To compensate, the selfish person who is perpetually hungry deep inside is driven to grab more from their environment and from others.
Whitney Houston sings: ‘Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.’ I disagree. Loving yourself is not always the greatest love of all. As Jesus was asked, ‘Which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ he also invites us to ask in every concrete situation, ‘Which is the greatest expression of love God is asking of me right now?’ And again, with due respect to Whitney Houston, the greatest love of all is not always easy to achieve and not always easy to discern.
Before a plane takes off, flight attendants issue a safety instruction many of us have memorized: ‘If the cabin pressure drops, secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting others-even your own children.’ When you first hear it, it sounds counterintuitive. Shouldn’t a parent put their child first? But the wisdom of aviation safety is simple: If you pass out from lack of oxygen, you are useless to the child sitting right beside you. Putting on your mask first isn’t self-indulgence; it’s survival so that you can save others. The same is true in the spiritual life. Taking time to nurture your soul is putting on your oxygen mask. This ensures that when God calls you to serve, you actually have life and breath to give.
Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity are models of self-sacrifice. Many people have wondered how they survived giving so much of themselves day in and day out, working in the brutal and exhausting slums of Kolkata. In the 1970s, as the demands on her order became more and more overwhelming, Mother Teresa instituted a mandatory daily Holy Hour of silent prayer for all her sisters. Again, this sounds counterintuitive. Some objected that an hour spent praying was an hour taken away from tending to the sick and dying. But Mother Teresa knew better. She famously replied, ‘If we do not take time to be filled, we will have nothing to pour out.’
The opening prayer at Mass today asks: ‘Almighty ever-living God, increase our faith, hope and charity, and make us love what you command.’ Can you love the greatest commandment?
Which is the greatest expression of love God is asking of you right now? Sometimes, it is reaching out to serve a neighbor who bears God’s image. But sometimes, it is pausing to tend to the image of God within yourself.