Category: Daily Monitor

In one of my recent columns, I mentioned that deepfakes are always looming in moments of heightened political competition, like the ongoing 2026 presidential campaigns. A deepfake (noun) is ‘a video, image, audio, etc in which a person’s face, body, or voice has been digitally altered so that they appear to be someone else, typically used maliciously or to spread false information.’

This week, two deepfakes on Uganda’s politics have caught my attention. First is the deepfake of President Museveni that was posted on X (formerly Twitter) on December 9. In the 22 seconds video, the President purportedly said:’Those international media are sometimes inciting, especially when African countries are having elections. Next year, we will be having general elections here in Uganda. Please tell people like Larry Madowo not to step their feet here. I saw what you did in Tanzania, but I don’t want to see you here in Uganda. You will see fire! Stay away!’

Many non-discerning social media consumers will take this short clip as is because it is President Museveni in the video speaking ‘live’ in his known voice. Yet in reality, an AI generated audio script has merely been voiced over an old video recording of the President. Indeed one of the President’s media handlers immediately shared the original two minutes and 57 seconds video of Mr Museveni’s interview aired on UBC in which he was saying: ‘.Africa needs a centre of gravity. We don’t have a centre of gravity and this is the problem. In Europe you have small countries like Denmark, Belgium and so on.Luxemburg, but the whole western civilisation has got a centre of gravity in the United States.what is our centre of gravity? It must be created? We cannot sit here and remain a perpetual vacuum point in the globe when there is no local power.because we are weak.’

This is a typical example of how Artificial Intelligence (AI) can be manipulated to create false narratives about people. No one is safe from this digital deceit that is getting only more sophisticated. And anyone can misuse AI to create deepfakes. Politicians can misuse it to drive certain narratives against opponents. Security agencies can misuse it to frame innocent people of crimes they never committed. Ordinary people with little basic computing skills can use it for humour, annoying memes, etc.

Which brings me to the second deepfake circulating on TikTok and WhatsApp. In the 1:11 video, US President Donald Trump he is purported to have said: ‘We have a very sad situation in Uganda. A terrible situation. Everyone is talking.look at Bobi Wine, a very popular guy, a musician they tell me, a young guy and look at what’s happening. Treat him horribly, beaten, arrested and his rights violated. It’s disgraceful, and absolute disgrace. You have this leader President Museveni. He has been there for decades, decades,, he is like the king and he doesn’t like the competition. So what does he do? Violence, intimidation. They call it an election but is a joke, a total sham! And they see it. The fake media doesn’t cover it enough but smart people know, they know what’s going on.

People of Uganda, we stand for freedom, for free speech. They want their country back, they want to make Uganda great again. But they can’t with this violence and crooked election. It has to stop! The violence against Bobi Wine and his supporters has to stop now. America is watching. We are all watching. Thank you!’

It is always challenging for most social media users to pick out a deepfake and many will go ahead to share it out as gospel truth because they like what they hear and see.

How do you tell it is fake? Well, beyond basic digital instincts and a sense of skeptism, it is important to carefully observe the videos: poor lip-syncing, strange word pronunciations, unnatural transitions, etc should trigger your mind to ask more questions. Remember, ‘If what the person in a video is saying or doing is shocking or important, the news media will be reporting on it. If you search for information on the video and no trustworthy sources are talking about it, it could mean the video is a deepfake.’

A 22-year-old man has been convicted and cautioned by the Chief Magistrate’s Court in Pader District after pleading guilty to having sexual intercourse with a goat, a crime considered ‘against the order of nature’ under Uganda’s Penal Code.

Acting Chief Magistrate Martin Kirya cautioned Emmanuel Ocen at his own plea on the charge of carnal knowledge of a goat under section 134(b) of the Penal Code Act.

Court records revealed that the incident occurred on October 1, 2025, at Abilin Nino Village, Angangura Sub-County, Pader District.

Ocen gave a detailed confession before the court, admitting he had mistaken the animal for his girlfriend.

‘It is true; I had sexual intercourse with the goat thinking I was having sex with my girlfriend,’ he told the court on Friday.

Ocen explained that he worked for a local traditional healer, and a female visitor came seeking the doctor.

‘I became tempted and felt love for her, I launched my manifesto, she accepted, and agreed to have sex with me. We then went to the Bush and had coitus,’ he recounted.

According to Ocen, a friend, Samuel Oloya, arrived during the act and questioned him: ‘Why are you having sex with a goat?’

Only then did Ocen realize he was holding a she-goat, brown with black patches and a white belt.

Senior State Attorney Ivan Kyazze presented evidence, including a police Form 24 and a veterinary report by Dr Birungi Maureen Grace.

The goat had recently given birth and showed signs of trauma, including difficulty standing, continuous bleating, reddening, and bruises in the vaginal area, consistent with sexual penetration.

Mr Kyazze noted the maximum penalty for the offence is life imprisonment but requested leniency because Ocen was a first-time offender.

Defence counsel Eunice Lakaraber described her client as remorseful and cooperative.

She requested a non-custodial sentence to allow him to undergo culturally prescribed cleansing rituals.

Elders appeared before the court to outline the traditional process, which requires purchasing a she-goat, performing rituals at the scene, and consuming the goat in a ceremonial act.

The process is meant to restore spiritual and cultural balance disrupted by the offence.

Delivering his judgment, Magistrate Kirya called the case ‘a true definition of an abnormal mind which clearly is a cultural abomination.’

He cautioned Ocen, allowing him the option to participate in the cleansing rituals if he wished, noting the customs were permissible under local tradition.

The magistrate emphasized that while the act was culturally abnormal, it did not warrant imprisonment in this first-offence case.

Ocen was released on caution, and the court advised him to comply with both legal and cultural measures to atone for his actions.

There are two types of business organisations – missionary oriented and mercenary-type. Mercenary types operate with short term objectives; they have one goal – turnaround as much profit as possible and exit the market as soon as a threat emerges. And if possible, place as little foot on the ground as possible.

In mercenary organisations, money is the main motivator. It is the carrot and stick. You perform; you are rewarded with big bonuses. It is less about how the objectives are met, but about the objectives themselves. In mercenary organisations, the end justifies the means. If one needs to threaten, cajole, coerce to achieve your objectives, then so be it. Mercenary organisations are in a rush to get in, do what needs to be done and get out.

Mercenary organisations are also the easiest to build. You do not have to think of big values, or some grand purpose. You simply name the price and assemble a group of people willing to work for that price. Then business gets moving. It is strangers with the least care for each other, but for the outcome at hand, and for what they get in return for achieving that outcome. The one thing mercenary organisations lack is the soul, when it gets hard, the mercenaries will escape.

Missionary organisations are the hardest to build. Usually, they start off with an obsessed founder, out to solve a genuine pain challenge. They have this vision of the future, which they share with the people they onboard. Although money/profits are important to them, they are not the core reason why people join the organisation.

People join the organisation because they are intimately connected to the mission. They are connected enough to care, to go the extra mile, to make the rare sacrifices. During the Covid-19 pandemic, the difference between the mercenary and missionary organisations was evident. In mercenary organisations, the quickest way to survive was to let go of some overheads, relieve some employees of their duties.

In missionary organisations, you had employees willing to forgo their leave days, do without bonus, if that is what it would take for the organisation to survive.

In missionary organisations, first comes the mission, the ‘why’ of the business, the rest flows from that spring. Increasingly, it is becoming rare to find missionary organisations. The CEO tenures have been reducing, thus eroding the ability for CEOs to drive mission, to drive culture, to drive values. Shareholders are anxious for quick results, thus eroding the mission – what is this organisation all about, why does it exist.

Worse, organisations no longer have their ‘academies’, they no longer groom talent. The idea now is to find good talent, poach it from wherever it exists. It is like the world of soccer. Clubs want quick results; they invest in buying ready talent regardless of whether they are a cultural fit. Can they score goals? That is all that matters. Thus, we rarely see the transition of players from the academy into the senior teams.

Organisations in the past hired fresh graduates and groomed them into the right performance culture of the organisation, connecting them to the mission. Thus, it became possible for these graduate management trainees (GMT) to become the future leaders in these organisations. But those days seem long past us. For organisations that continue to run these GMT programmes, it has become a sideshow, something you do for the sake of, but with less buy-in from the current leadership.

Since employers now behave like mercenaries, employees too have become like Eneke, the bird in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. Since employers have learned to hire more for results and less for culture, employees too have lost their loyalty. They treat organisations as platforms to exploit, as stopovers for better things yet to come.

It is this mindset that has also driven the fraud culture in most organisations. Employees care less about the company assets. It is a two-sided exploitation. Now, organisations are dedicating their budgets to hiring fraud forensics firms to correct a culture they played a part in creating. It has become a field day for these fraud forensics firms as their demand shoots through the roof.

Back to the basics

But perhaps it is high time we got back to the basics and created organisations that are here for the long-term. And hired first for the culture, the mindset long before past performance. Past performance is a lagging indicator, it says nothing much about someone’s future performance. Yet, the right mindset is a leading indicator.

The choice is on the table, to continue this slippery slope of mercenary companies or to detour back to the missionary organisations. Will the boards give CEOs the mandate to build these kinds of organisations? Will the human resource departments step up to this challenge? Or perhaps it’s a little too late to sound this warning call, and we could as well enjoy the journey downwards across the mercenary organizations.

The President explains that although many people have asked him to withdraw the soldiers, doing so would open the door for invaders from neighbouring countries, where instability remains high, to return and threaten local communities.

Despite calls by fishermen for President Museveni to recall UPDF soldiers under the Fisheries Protection Unit (FPU) from guarding water bodies over alleged intimidation, President Museveni, who is also the NRM presidential candidate, insisted yesterday that the soldiers will not be withdrawn. While campaigning in Buliisa District on Thursday, the President said the army was deployed on all water bodies to curb illegal fishing and would remain in place.

‘The soldiers will not be taken away from the lake. If we do so, the invaders, because of chaos in DR Congo and Tanzania, will come back.

But this time, these soldiers will not operate independently; they will be supporting our plan. Fishing is one of the pillars of wealth creation, and this is what the NRM brought as our contribution,’ he said. Museveni explained that although many people have asked him to withdraw the soldiers, doing so would open the door for invaders from neighbouring countries, where instability remains high, to return and threaten local communities. He warned that corrupt soldiers operating on the lakes will be punished.

‘I have received numerous reports from districts like Ntoroko, where soldiers have been confiscating motorcycles and immature fish, and threatening anyone who attempts to reclaim their property. These will be dealt with,’ he said.

Fishermen have repeatedly accused FPU soldiers of confiscating nets, boats, and other gear, often on allegations of using substandard equipment, leaving many families struggling. In 2017, Museveni deployed the FPU to combat illegal fishing on Uganda’s major lakes. However, community reports over the years indicate that some soldiers have abused their authority through extortion and brutality. Still, UPDF presence has coincided with a rise in fish stocks over the eight years of enforcement. Museveni directed that all fishermen whose gear was confiscated, boats, nets, and engines, must have their property returned starting today [Friday], without paying any fees.

‘I was in Ntoroko District, and someone told me his two motorcycles were taken when he was intercepted transporting immature fish. When he went back to follow up, he was threatened. I hear that even here, some people’s fishing gear was confiscated. I hereby direct that all these items be returned starting Friday,’ he said.

The President said Maj Gen Daniel Kakono, commander of the Atirary Division, will oversee the handover exercise. He further warned that any soldiers who sold confiscated gear will face consequences, but owners must still be compensated. Museveni blamed declining fish stocks on poor fishing methods, saying the number of fish factories has dropped from 22 to only eight, leading to reduced export earnings.

‘When I came to power, there was no fishing factory. We attracted investors who built 22 factories, but because breeding grounds were tampered with, stocks were depleted and most factories closed. The people of Bugungu did not use bad methods, but invaders from DR Congo depleted the lake.’ He said soldiers were deployed because local communities had been overpowered by armed invaders.

‘When soldiers came, and because fishing was profitable, some became corrupt. For years, I have been calling meetings, asking leaders to identify indigenous fishing families so we can support them and eventually withdraw the army. But leaders always insisted the army should stay because Congolese militia would return.’

Museveni reiterated that the central goal is to save the lakes and restore fish stocks. The President also pledged to meet cultural chiefs from Buliisa and Pakwach districts, who have traditional knowledge of fishing. He said he cannot allow lakes to be depleted under his leadership. He warned of ecological consequences if fish stocks collapse, including oxygen decline due to excessive plankton and increases in mosquitoes and lake flies. Museveni further pledged to create a national fish fund, saying the Parish Development Model fund is too small for fishing communities that require larger capital. He also promised to develop Butiaba Port on Lake Albert to improve Uganda’s connection with DRC.

District challenges

Buliisa District NRM chairperson and area MP Allan Atungonza called on the President to address several challenges facing the district. He said some sub-counties, Biiso, Buliisa, and Butiaba, still lack government-aided schools, forcing learners to walk long distances. On water access, he said the oil and gas developments have increased the population, straining already limited clean water sources. Buliisa lies just 10km from the Nile, yet many communities remain underserved. He appealed for the fast-tracking of piped water extension. The MP requested a Fishers’ Fund to help communities acquire proper fishing gear, invest in fish farming, and receive training to eliminate harmful methods.

Climate change effects in different parts of the country have a huge say in agricultural activities. Usually for the worst. For a region like Atari basin, which lies in the flatlands of Bulambuli in Bugisu and Kween district on the Sebei side, the contrasting weather patterns are a menace.

During the heavy rains, the rice gardens experience flooding that mercilessly hits growth and productivity. And in the dry season, the region faces adverse drought conditions hence a poor harvest.

The Ministry of Agriculture, Animal Industry and Fisheries (MAAIF), has been faced with such problems in a long time.

When the Japan International Cooperation Agency (Jica) fronted a grant proposal to the government to set up an all year irrigation scheme in the area that was the shot in arm that the locals had been waiting for.

Birth of Atari Irrigation scheme

Commissioned in April 2025 by Minister Frank Tumwebaze and Jica Chief Representative to Uganda Yoichi Inoue, the project has taken off to greater heights in the eight months of construction.

The headworks and canals and dykes are already in advanced stages.

According to Zenitaka Construction Company, the contractors, everything is on course to meet the December 2026 handover.

In 2018 when the financing agreement was signed, the government of Japan through Jica extended a grant of $25m (later came down to $21.5m because of inflation) to build the scheme’s intake facility, main, secondary and tertiary drainage canals, flood protection dykes, construction and maintenance of roads and model sites with land reorganization covering 12 hectares. The Uganda government committed Shs.30bn, mainly for land compensation.

The scheme, which is designed to draw water from River Atari, will be used for water storage and distribution to the farmers all year long.

‘We look forward to improve the livelihoods of farmers in the region through this project and more to come. Japan and Uganda are good partners and we are looking forward to many projects,’ said Yoichi Inoue.

Atari Irrigation scheme will cover a total landmass of 680 hectares, and joins the others at Ngenge (780 hectares) and Acomai (2200 hectares).

Rithwan Kalinaki, programmes manager for water and agriculture projects at Jica, says such projects are meant to lessen the burden of farmers relying on nature for everything.

‘These days, as a result of climate change, weather patterns are unpredictable and each season comes with its own challenges. But with a well-planned irrigation scheme in place, all those worries shall be a thing of the past.’

The projected benefits

Jica isn’t just building the project but also empowering local farmers through its Irrigation Water Users’ Association (IWUA) programme for the rice growing communities across the region. The association membership currently stands at 204. Each member pays an annual Shs50,000 per acre, while non members pay an additional shs.20,000.

This money is for management, operational and maintenance costs.

The training of local farmers and government agricultural staff in modern rice cultivation techniques has greatly boosted production and household incomes.

Sande David, one of the trained farmers, attests to this. We found him harvesting rice on his 1½ acre farm. Sande was full of praises for the Japanese agricultural trainers who took him and others through training and also offered him improved rice seedlings for a bumper harvest.

Where he used to plant 25kg per acre and harvest a measly five bags, he currently gets 30 bags. Sande and the other 50 trained farmers were given weeding machines to help cut on the time spent weeding the rice.

‘Everything is getting better and simplified now. We used to suffer a lot for meagre returns. We are now happy with the project and when the scheme gets launched, we shall wave goodbye to poverty,’ he said with a smile, before boasting that he has managed to buy a boda boda and build an iron-sheet roofed house, a feat shared by another farmer, Jane Nandutu.

In 2014, only 264 hectares were the cultivated area for rice. By 2029, three years after the completion of the scheme, the projected area will be 570 hectares, producing five tonnes of rice per hectare, up from the current two tonnes.

Abraham Wandega grows eggplants and sunflower not far from Sande’s rice plantation. He irrigates the manual way, by a plastic watering jar. He grows these on one acre but says if he had a better and easier way of irrigating he would have expanded his plantation by the more acres.

‘Manual irrigation is labour, capital and time consuming. By the time of harvest one will have spent a lot on labourers. So I am deeply praying for the irrigation scheme to get finished and we go big on business. The future is really bright,’ he says.

The project will also see other crops like sunflower, eggplants, lettuce, maize, soybean, tomatoes and cabbages all covered. 479 land owners have signed and committed to the scheme with their 688 plots of land (680 hectares). The general population of 6500 people in the two sub counties of Sikwo in Kween and Bumufuni in Bulambuli are the primary beneficiaries.

The challenges

In a brief chat with Inoue, farmers thanked him for the gesture of the weeding machines but also bemoaned the lack of other machines like the rice harvester, hurler and miller.

At Sande’s farmyard, we found a number of labourers cutting the rice and hurling it. From there it is transported to Mbale for milling.

From paying them, to transporting the produce and selling, Sande incurs more costs which will have a bearing on his end profits.

Inoue listened carefully. Perhaps a note taken that will be considered in future. But one thing is for sure. The fortunes of farmers in the Atari basin are getting better with the irrigation scheme.

It is easy to admire a girl with long acrylic nails. She lifts her hand and the light makes the nails look brighter. She taps her phone and that soft tik-tik sound feels like confidence. She poses for a photo and suddenly everything looks better. The nails make you feel stylish. Yet behind all that polished beauty is a daily struggle only those who have worn them truly understand.

The stories differ. Some girls give up after the first attempt, promising never to go through it again. Others adjust with time and become good at handling life in angles.

From struggling to type on my laptop, wrestling with an ATM card, or dealing with the sharp sting every time I accidentally banged a nail, I knew this was not for me. I immediately went shorter.

For some women, though, long nails are not just a beauty statement; they are a lifestyle or an extension of personality and art. the allure of acrylics lies not only in the vibrant colours or intricate designs but also in the unique way they express personality and creativity. But beyond the artistry, no one prepares you for how much these nails will test your patience with everyday tasks.

From typing on a keyboard to opening a soda can, what looks glamorous on the outside often comes with a hidden set of challenges.

We spoke to some women who have fully embraced long nails. From their tips for first-timers to the surprising ways these extensions have changed their daily routines, they gave us a glimpse into a world where fashion meets function.

Patience Ahumuza

Strangers are always curious

I have been rocking long nails for over five years now. They are such a beautiful form of self-expression; it is like wearable art. Honestly, getting a fresh set done feels like all my problems vanish for a bit!

I change my nail set every month, but I vividly remember how awkward it felt the first time. Basic tasks such as picking up coins or fastening jewellery were a challenge. My fingers felt heavy, and I constantly bumped them against things. It was like I had to relearn how to use my hands. Now, I am completely used to it.

The reactions I get vary. Strangers are always curious and ask things like, ‘How do you type?’ or the infamous, ‘How do you wipe?’ I usually answer jokingly, just to keep it light. My mom worries I will scratch my eyes, while my friends are my hype squad; they love seeing the latest designs, even if I fumble with coins.

Wearing long nails forces you to slow down and be deliberate. I type with the pads of my fingers, not the tips, and there is this satisfying ‘click-clack’ sound when I do. Every movement feels a little more graceful. I still struggle with picking up coins and necklaces with tricky clasps are another challenge so I avoid them altogether.

Maintaining hygiene is simple. Wash your hands and do not use your nails as tools. People think we cannot cook, clean, or work, but we absolutely can. Nails are just an extension of your fingers once you get used to them.

What I love most is the sound my nails make on hard surfaces; it is oddly soothing. There is also this sense of power and polish when I have a fresh set. Think of long nails like learning to walk in heels: you would not jump straight into stilettos. Gradually increase the length and remember: jewels, not tools!

Valerie Nanyonjo

I hopped around trying to zip

I tried acrylics once and that was the end of my journey. Not even two times. Once. First, I could not button my jeans. I stood hopping around the room like a confused chicken.

Then I tried to do laundry and almost broke a nail. The pain shot straight to my soul. The final straw was when I tried to remove a SIM card from my phone. The nail broke so badly.

I went straight to the salon the next morning and told them, ‘Remove everything, I am not meant for luxury.’ Now I admire from afar. I clap for girls with long nails with respect because I know what they are going through.

Sharon Oringa

Holding a pen felt tricky

I started wearing acrylics back in university, so that is about eight years. They are stylish and complement fashion beautifully, so I actually consider them as part of my must have accessories when I dress up.

When I started out, holding a pen to write felt tricky, and washing my hands felt like a mini challenge each time. But over time, I can proudly say, I have become a pro. Of course not everyone admires them. My mother calls them ‘ghost nails’; she is hilarious. Strangers ask funny questions, like how I shower with them or if I do not keep accidentally scratching myself. Very funny!

When my nails are neat, they make everything look polished and stylish. Plus, nail shapes and designs follow trends, so there is a fun creative side. It is like keeping up with clothes trends, but instead it is for nails. So, whenever I am scrolling through Instagram, or Pinterest, I am looking out for what new nail art Cardi B has that I can recreate. Besides washing and writing that were tricky initially, being a fashion designer, it means I work a lot with my hands, so you can imagine how hard things such as threading a needle or pulling up a zipper must be. But we do it for the lifestyle, so I slowly come up with hacks all the time to get some of these tasks doable, without breaking a nail.

I avoid washing altogether, because doing that with these nails is close to impossible. And do not even get me started on the pain, when you get your nail stuck in a zipper or something, as you wash. Also, people assume long nails are impractical, but you can shower, cook, and do anything. Just ensure that you take care of them. What I love most is how cute, feminine, and a real style statement they can be.

Noreen Nankunda

The struggle was at the ATM

One time I went to use an ATM with fresh acrylics and while inserting the card was stressful, I was not prepared for the struggle of removing it . The machine refused to give me a proper grip. My nails were touching the sides but not the card.

A queue formed behind me. People started clearing their throats. I had to use the side of my finger and drag the card out like it was a secret mission. Even pressing the buttons was hard. I was pressing eight instead of five. By the time I finished, I felt like withdrawing money should come with a warning for acrylic wearers.

And yet, even after all this drama, chaos, and public humiliation, I still booked my next appointment without hesitation, because acrylics are not just nails. They are personality, mood, confidence and a whole aesthetic, even when they nearly defeat girls in public and humble them in front of strangers.

Phiona Tusiime

You have to learn the angles

At first, acrylics stressed me. Typing was slow, I could not open anything, even holding a pen felt strange. But after a few months, I became a professional. Now I can do everything; cook, wash, type fast, lock the door, even braid my niece’s hair, with zero stress. My friends call me Nail Ninja. I can pick coins, I can put on earrings, I can zip up my dresses alone.

At work, people kept asking if I removed them because I was typing so fast. I told them I just adapted. Once you learn the angles, life becomes easy. Now I feel naked without my nails.

Angella Ainembabazi

I was embarrassed in a taxi

In a taxi, the conductor gave me change. I tried pinching the coins and could not pick them. The nails refused. He shouted ‘Madam yanguwa’ and the whole taxi burst out laughing. I felt like throwing the nails out the window. I sat quietly after that. I even refused to scratch my face just in case someone saw me struggling again.

Claire Kembabazi

My nail went straight through the toilet paper

Everything was fine until I went to the bathroom. I still laugh at myself. That is where long acrylic nails finished me. I reached for the toilet paper and my nail went straight through it like a spear. I tried to fix the situation and tore the whole roll. I just sat there in the bathroom, defeated.

Sandra Apio

I poke myself in the ear often

Scratching yourself with long nails is a calculated risk. You must decide whether the itch is important enough. I once scratched my shoulder and accidentally left a mark like a cat had passed by.

Removing earrings is another level of dramatic. You have to pinch the tiny back piece carefully, but the nails block your grip. I have poked myself in the ear more times than I can count. But when I look at my hands afterwards, the beauty is worth the trauma.

Catherine Atuhaire

Zipping my purse was hard

I wore extra-long acrylics for a wedding. Everything was fine but zipping my purse was a struggle. The zip kept catching my nail. I genuinely thought I would lose a nail in public. But the photos from that day were so good. I forgot and forgave everything.

Ritah Nakiboneka

It took me 20 minutes to zip up

I put on a gorgeous dress, felt cute, then tried to zip it. That was the beginning of my downfall. I fought for 20 minutes. The zip reached halfway and refused.

Every time I bent, a nail threatened to snap. Imagine calling your neighbour for help at 7am because your nails have betrayed you. He opened the door, looked at me and said ‘eh Ritah, you love suffering!’ I could not defend myself. But he zipped me up, after laughing for a few minutes.

Dear Diary,

The holidays are here, and honey, the audacity is thick in the air. While some well-adjusted humans are buying thoughtful gifts and planning wholesome family time in Kanungu, there is Satan’s spawn out here treating December like it is an all-you-can-date buffet.

They have got a roster. A literal spreadsheet. Black girls on Monday, blonde wigs on Wednesday, the unhinged one who keeps life ‘interesting’ on Friday, the delulu who thinks she is the only one (bless her heart) on Saturday. Flat screens, curved screens, IMAX screens, he is watching them all.

Last year around this time, my friend flew to Zanzibar for a man. Her story is a cautionary tale that needs to be taught in schools. She spent half a year being marinated in her DMs by this man. They were not just chatting, they were in the trenches. Late night video calls. The kind where you do things that would make Bad Black shy. She was preheated. Emotionally invested. Bikini-waxed-ready. Meeting in person was to be the final bake. This man had her so properly seasoned, she could have been served at a Michelin star restaurant.

The red flags? Oh, they were there. Waving. Doing backflips. Performing a whole Broadway show. This girl kept popping up in his ‘Gram like a recurring character in a Telenovella. Nothing scandalous, just there. Consistently like taxes.

‘Oh, that is my gango,’ he said. Sir, your ‘gango’ has been in 47 percent of your posts for the last six months!

But my friend? She believed him. Because when you are marinated, you will believe a man who tells you the sky is red. So she books the flight. Saves up. Packs her cutest outfits. Lands in Zanzibar ready for her things-that-happen-in-Zanzibar-stay-in-Zanzibar.

The story escalated faster than inflation in this economy. ‘Just friends’ became ‘we hooked up once’ became ‘we are currently seeing where things go’ became ‘but I am open to seeing where things go with YOU if you are game!’ Sis did not save her coins, fly economy to be Player Number Two in your little leagues! She came for a romance novel and you handed her a participation medal in a love triangle. Or worse, a threesome because these days? You genuinely never know. People are so ‘woke’ they have opened their minds right into the void.

Here, have some whisky

Baddie, unless you are traveling with your actual committed better half (that term – cringe), or you have a legally binding, notarised agreement with penalty clauses: DO. NOT. BOOK. THAT. FLIGHT! The problem with modern dating is that everyone is a placeholder. We are all just items in a vending machine that never stops restocking. He has got options on options on options, and you are just Wednesday’s Sprite.

So do not book that flight to see Mr Sweet Talker. Do not pay for a full tank to Jinja. Do not spend your resources on his potential because you are independent and sh*t!

And if he is paying? Make him send you the money and you do the booking. Because while men are temporary and unreliable as WiFi in a basement, AirBnBs are NON-REFUNDABLE! At least get a cute solo vacation out of it when Lucifer’s protégé inevitably has ‘dessert after ordering dinner.’

Dating right now is like trying to twerk in a pencil skirt. It is restrictive, uncomfortable, and for those of us blessed with flat-screen posteriors? A complete waste of time! You are just standing there wiggling awkwardly while everyone pretends something is happening.

May my friend’s Zanzibar debacle save you from flying to your humiliation. And to the holiday roster-makers… May all your liqueur be devoid of alcohol!

________________________

-TheKat

Baddie Rule of the Week:

l If he wants to see you, he will send the money – and the money must arrive.

Mini Manifesto:

I am not here to compete for space in a man’s Christmas roster. I am the whole Turkey!

May my worth never be discounted, my peace never be disturbed, and my horn never be placed on standby for someone who keeps refreshing the menu.

This season, the only spirit flying me out is the Holy Spirit, and He doesn’t do economy.

The Health Ministry has released the 2024/2025 financial year national health facility performance rankings, naming the best and worst performing districts, sub-regions, and referral hospitals in the country. The findings were presented in the Annual Health Sub-Programme Performance Report during its 31st Joint Review Mission on Tuesday. They highlight service delivery disparities among the country’s government and private not-for-profit hospitals.

Mbale Regional Referral Hospital topped the list with 67 percent, followed by Mengo Hospital at 55 percent. St Mary’s Hospital Lacor, St Francis Nsambya Hospital and Fort Portal Regional Referral Hospital each scored 41 percent. Masaka Regional Referral Hospital followed with 40 percent, while Kayunga and Mbarara referral hospitals scored 38 percent each. Hoima scored 37 percent, Lira (36), and Entebbe, Lubaga and Mubende hospitals each scored 35 percent, with Arua scoring 34 percent.

Gulu and Jinja regional referral hospitals tied at 33 percent, Kabale scored 32 percent, Soroti (31), Moroto (28), while Yumbe Regional Referral Hospital performed worst, scoring 27 percent. According to the report, the assessment is based on the Ministry’s Annual Performance Grant (APG) and Delivery Readiness Grant (ARG) scores, which measure both the volume of health services delivered and the readiness of facilities in terms of staffing, equipment, medicines, and infrastructure.

Local government rankings

Kiruhura emerged as the best performing district, scoring 92.3 percent, followed by Bundibugyo, which scored 89.4 percent. Mbale was ranked third after scoring 89 percent. Presenting the findings, Dr Diana Atwine, the Ministry of Health’s permanent secretary, noted that Lira City emerged fourth with 88.7 percent followed by Amolatar (87.1 percent) and Bududa in sixth place with 85.4 percent. Bunyangabu, Jinja City, Kwania and Ibanda completed the top 10, scoring between 85.3 percent and 84.8 percent.

Arua District was the worst performer nationwide at 54.3 percent, ranking 146th. Soroti District followed at 57.8 percent, followed by Butebo (58.8), Hoima (60.2) and Bukomansimbi (61.1). Other low-performing districts included Ngora, Buvuma, Kisoro, Karenga and Bugweri, scoring between 63.2 and 64.1 percent.

According to the report, South Buganda, ranked 15th, was the worst-performing sub-region. It was followed by North Buganda (14th). Bunyoro and Teso were the worst-performing sub-regions. Lango topped the country, followed by Bugisu, Acholi, West Nile and Kigezi. Karamoja ranked sixth, with Tooro, Ankole, Bukedi, and Kampala, which ranked 10th.

Busoga Sub-region was ranked 11th.

Dr Atwiine, who represented the Minister of Health, said some of the poor-performing districts were largely struggling with human resource shortages, transparency issues, and inefficiencies. She urged all stakeholders to align with the National Development Plan IV targets. ‘Resilience and efficiency is a human resource. We should rethink HR management through improved training, welfare, mentorship and mindset transformation so as to ensure staff embody values such as patient-centeredness, respect, quality and selflessness,’ Dr Atwiine noted.

According to the same performance report, Kisenyi Health Centre IV in Kampala emerged as the best-performing HC IV in the country, scoring 74 percent, followed by Bujubuli HC IV in Kyegegwa (68 points) and Aboke HC IV in Kole District (65 points). Other high performers included Panyadoli in Kiryandongo (64), Budaka HC IV (61), Kyangwali in Kikuube (60), Rwamwanja in Kamwenge (60), Wakiso HC IV (60), Kumi HC IV (59) and Budadiri in Sironko (58).

At the bottom of the ranking were several private facilities, with Frost Hospital in Wakiso scoring 10 percent, Kachumbala HC IV in Bukedea (eight percent), and Pearl Medical Centre in Kampala (six percent). Medik Health Centre in Kampala, K.T Medical Centre in Wakiso, and Kingsley Children’s Medical Centre in Mukono and SAS Clinic in Kampala each scored five points. The lowest-rated government facility was Naguru Police HC IV in Kampala, with only 1 point, while Astu HC IV in Katakwi ranked last with zero points.

Dr Atwine also presented the new Health Sector Strategic Plan and the Uganda Health Compact, saying both will guide investments toward universal health coverage, noting that all strategic documents will be accessible online to support district planning. ‘For a long time, we had less proper framework for documenting incidents in facilities. Health workers often struggled to record what went wrong,’ she said. ‘These new guidelines will help clinicians document procedures, side effects and adverse events. Instead of hiding mistakes, we want staff to follow through and improve patient safety,’ she stated.

Dr Atwiine reiterated the ministry’s push for one plan, one budget, warning that off-budget partner funding had long distorted planning. ‘Please entrust your money with the government so we can plan together,’ she said. Mr Joshua Musaasizi, the assistant commissioner for private sector coordination, highlighted the rollout of the Health Partners Portal. The portal is a new digital platform that will track all organisations working in the sector. ‘In the spirit of integration and better coordination, it is now a requirement that all partners working with us register through the portal and with this, national rankings will be made easier all around,’ he said.

Mr Musasizi explained that partners will use the platform to log in, upload their activities, indicate their geographical areas of operation and share their plans and reports with the ministry. ‘There may be concerns about privacy, but the information posted is only visible to the partner and the Ministry of Health, and this registration is mandatory for any organisation already working with the ministry,’ he added.

Factors fuelling poor performance

According to the report released on Tuesday, the best facilities include Mbale and Fort Portal regional referral hospitals, Mengo Hospital, St Mary’s Lacor and Nsambya hospital. The poor performers included Gulu, Jinja and Yumbe regional referral hospitals. Dr Diana Atwiine, who represented the Minister of Health, said some of the poor-performing districts were largely struggling with human resource shortages, and inefficiencies.

A total of 5,138 students from Kyambogo University in Kampala City graduated on Wednesday and yesterday. They included 23 who graduated with PhDs in various academic disciplines. Daily Monitor’s Jane Nafula profiles the studies and findings of some of the PhD graduates.

Gilbert Olanya (Education)

He studied the influence of individual characteristics on work engagement of primary school teachers moderated by organisational factors in the Acholi sub-region, Uganda. The study examined the influence of individual characteristics on work engagement, assessed the influence of organisational factors, and tested the moderating role of organisational factors on the influence of individual characteristics on work engagement of primary school teachers.The study findings revealed that while teacher absorption was high as well as personal self-efficacy of teachers, dedication and teacher vigour were moderate.

Dr Monica Ahabwe (Education)

She explored teachers’ experiences in implementing the competence-based curriculum in Uganda using a case study of selected secondary schools in western Uganda. The study focused on the aspects of planning, teaching, and assessment. It found that planning involved occasional lesson plan development, internet use, scheme of work construction, but was constrained by inadequate resources and time. The study recommended increased funding, especially in low-resourced schools, to support teaching and assessment and intensive training to enhance teacher competencies in planning, teaching, and assessment.

Jackline Achan (Education)

Her study examined the relationship between children’s participation and protective factors against violence in selected government-aided primary schools in Bugiri District, eastern Uganda. The findings of the study indicated that when children actively participate in safety measures, their overall protection from violence improves.

Annet Nadunga (Religious Studies)

She examined the concept of the ideal wife of Proverbs 31:10-31 in relation to contemporary marriages in Uganda. She says the question of ‘who is a good wife?’ is historically, culturally, and religiously critical. The study advances the view that a good wife in modern times must be defined by contemporary dynamics such as women’s emancipation.

Jesca Audo (Education)

Her study focused on how participation in learning activities in Biology lessons mediate the relationship between students’ self-efficacy and the acquisition of generic skills in Uganda’s new lower secondary curriculum. It found that students who actively participated in group tasks, and reflective discussions demonstrated higher levels of confidence in their academic abilities.

Abdulaziz Kakooza (Educ)

He examined how employability skills can be strengthened within Uganda’s pre-service teacher training programmes, focusing on Kyambogo University. It revealed that employers prioritise competencies such as communication, critical thinking, digital literacy. But these skills were insufficiently and inconsistently integrated within existing programmes at Kyambogo University.

Gloria Geria (Education)

She undertook a qualitative case study on teachers’ implementation of group learning pedagogy in primary schools in Central Uganda, focusing on three core dimensions: strategies teachers use to form groups, teachers’ practices in facilitating group learning pedagogy in the classroom, and learners’ experiences and responses to the group learning.

Rhodes Adong (Design and Visual Culture)

She investigated Acholi ritual pottery and how to integrate it into contemporary social design space. The study explored Acholi family rituals that used pots, analysed the significant use of pots in rituals. The study recommends vocational skills training to mitigate the skills gap among the elderly potters and sustainable transmission of pottery-making techniques.

Juma Katungi (Education)

He examined the impact of the Art World Design Thinking Process in enhancing Teacher Pedagogical Creativity among in-service teachers in Early Childhood Care and Education (ECCE) in Uganda. The study recommended systematic integration of design-thinking approaches into ECCE pre-service training to support ongoing innovation in early childhood pedagogy, among others

Phiona Arineitwe (Education)

She conducted a comprehensive investigation into how ‘institutional support and organisational learning influence teacher competence in government-aided secondary schools in South Western Uganda’. The researcher found that strategies are essential for developing competent, motivated teachers and ultimately improving educational quality in the region.

Esau Bbosa (Religious Studies)

His study examined the Anglican Church of Uganda’s contribution to environmental ethics in the dioceses of Namirembe, Mukono, and Kampala. The study showed that although the Anglican Church’s theological teachings underscore environmental stewardship, the church’s engagement with environmental ethics in the Buganda region has been limited.

Juliet N. Wabwire (Religious Studies)

She investigated the cultural correlations between Biblical circumcision and the Imbalu of the Bamasaba of Uganda. The study advances arguments for the culturally dynamic and ethically responsive practices that negotiate tradition and modernity; hence, a hybrid framework that integrates ritual symbolism, health safeguards, ethical consent, and human rights.

Dr Evaristo Tukamuhabwa (Education)

His study looked at the key factors shaping the effectiveness of Physics teachers in Ugandan secondary schools, focusing particularly on the pedagogical approaches introduced through the SESEMAT programme, the overall school environment, and how this environment moderates the relationship between pedagogy and teacher effectiveness. The findings revealed that SESEMAT pedagogical approaches significantly enhanced teacher effectiveness.The school environment was found to positively moderate the link between pedagogy and teacher effectiveness.

Dr Scholastica Tiguryera (Education)

Her study probed the factors shaping teaching quality among academic staff in Uganda’s public universities, focusing on how teacher self-efficacy mediated the relationship between instructional leadership and teaching quality. Overall, the study found that academic staff reported high levels of self-efficacy and teaching quality. Instructional leadership and teacher self-efficacy significantly and positively predicted teaching quality, demonstrating that strong leadership practices and confidence in one’s teaching abilities are essential contributors to effective instruction.

Penelope Tusaasiirwe (Design and Visual Culture)

She creatively upcycled Post-consumer Textile Waste (PCTW) through art as a strategy that mitigates environmental pollution and fosters environmental sustainability awareness in Uganda. This study affirmed that increased production, consumerism, and under-utilisation of textiles have contributed to an upsurge of textile waste both in the waste streams and landfills, consequently causing changes to the environment. The study recommended a policy guide on how the public should dispose of different types of textile waste.

The Forum for Democratic Change (FDC) presidential candidate, Mr Nathan Nandala Mafabi, on Wednesday campaigned at night in Bushenyi District, despite the Electoral Commission’s (EC) recommended 6pm deadline.

According to the EC guidelines for the presidential elections, campaigns are to be conducted between 7am and 6pm. The guidelines require candidates and their agents to ensure all campaign activities fall within these hours.

However, Mr Mafabi began his campaigns in Buhweju District, traversing the hilly terrain of an area without a single tarmac road. He promised residents that, once elected, he would construct 200km of tarmac roads in every district across the country. Due to the difficult terrain and poor roads, the FDC candidate reached Sheema District at 6.12pm, where he proceeded to hold a campaign event in Kabwohe Town along the Mbarara-Bushenyi road.

Police officers present at the venue did not interrupt the event. Mr Mafabi then continued to Bushenyi District, arriving at 7.50pm, where he held another rally on the Ishaka-Kitagata road in Bushenyi-Ishaka Municipality. He said the Greater Bushenyi Sub-region faces significant challenges with its road network, which contributed to delays in reaching campaign venues across the three districts. Mr Mafabi questioned how a country dependent on agriculture can expect progress when farmers lack reliable roads to transport produce to markets. He pledged to fix the country’s roads.

When this reporter sought comment from police about why they allowed a presidential candidate to campaign beyond the stipulated time, neither the Greater Bushenyi Police spokesperson, Apollo Tayebwa, nor the Regional Police Commander, Godfrey Achiria, offered a response, both saying they were on official leave.

‘I am on leave; I am not there. It is my deputy who is in charge. The deputy RPC is the one responsible,’ Mr Achiria said.