‘I can’t take it anymore. I need to take a leave and rest or I’m close to having a mental breakdown,’ a Gen X manager told me recently.
A Stellar performer. Multiple ‘Manager of the Year’ trophies. Not a lightweight.
The job isn’t what’s breaking her but the messages.
One morning, in a hotel known for premium service, a staffer dropped this gem in the team chat:
‘Good morning. Why is my application for leave taking so long for approval? Please explain. Thank you.’
No context. No courtesy. And yes, they added the manager to the chat without even asking.
We often discuss psychological safety – which is beneficial. People should be free to raise issues, own mistakes and explore ideas without fear.
But here’s the part the hashtags often forget: senior leaders also need psychological safety – from weaponized entitlement, lazy phrasing and social media manners imported into a professional workplace.
Safety is not a license to be careless. It’s the courage to be candid – with care.
Most young workers are not rude by design; many are just underexposed to workplace etiquette. When algorithms curate your life’s curriculum, and your teachers are ‘Assert Yourself’ TikTok and YouTube gurus, you’re trained to prize volume over nuance, speed over substance and ‘my boundaries’ over ‘our mission.’
Meanwhile, many companies skip values orientation because ‘we’re busy.’ Translation: ‘We hired quickly and hoped culture would grow on its own.’
That’s like buying a grand piano and believing the furniture will teach everyone to play.
So what does harmony look like – without turning this column into another 10-step survival guide?
Imagine this instead:
A team that shares a house style for communication without calling it a policy. We don’t call it a ‘policy’; it’s just how the house runs.
Urgent? Call.
Important? Email.
Routine? Chat.
We dress our words the same way we dress for a client – professionally, crisply and kindly. No ‘please explain’ like a help desk.
When we need to push, we add context and offer options. No drama – just clarity.
New hires don’t get a sermon; they get a conversation.
Respect is how we speak.
Accountability is when we deliver.
Service is why we exist – so it will always be customer first, team second, ego dead last.
Then we practice the messy bits: filing leave during peak season, sending non-emergency emails on Saturdays and handling guest blowups that escalate a shift – real reps for real work.
Nobody graduates on PowerPoint alone; they rehearse the complex parts until confidence replaces guesswork – where boundaries and reliability become friends, not enemies.
Days off are honored, but everyone understands the business.
In rare crises, requests arrive with context, a time limit and a fair giveback:
‘We need 30 minutes between two and five; you’ll get a half-day this week.’
When someone truly can’t help, they don’t vanish – they redirect:
‘I’m offline. Please try Alex. If stuck, escalate to Jenny.’
People stop ghosting and start communicating.
Corrections occur like pit stops that are quick, targeted and without public shaming.
A message crosses the line? The leader replies privately:
‘Your note sounded demanding. Here’s a better way to ask. You’ll get faster approvals.’
No grandstanding. Just micro-coaching in the moment. The temperature drops. Performance rises. the week and you’ll find a small ritual of fifteen minutes of Wins and Whoops.
One win we’ll repeat.
One whoops we’ll fix.
One insight about our customers we can use on Monday.
Rituals are how ‘we should’ becomes ‘we do.’
Mentoring flows in both directions.
Seniors pass on standards, presence and the service mindset.
Juniors teach tools, brevity and micro-trends.
Respect grows because value flows. This is not ‘receive and resent’; it’s ‘give and gain.’
When tensions spike, people don’t throw labels; they ask better questions:
‘I’ll assume you meant well. What outcome were you hoping for with that message?’
That single sentence transforms a complaint into a coaching moment. The room exhales.
Learning begins.
And yes – we measure what we want to multiply.
Not the vanity metrics. Just two questions:
1. Are we making the customer’s life easier?
2. Are we reducing internal friction caused by miscommunication?
Celebrate improvements the way you celebrate revenue. People repeat what gets rewarded.
Let me end with a word to the young professional reading this:
The Gen Zer who masters mood and message – who shows care for the company’s success and practices right values and conduct – will have a competitive edge.
Full stop.
You will stand out in a sea of ‘I already booked my flights.’ You’ll be trusted with context, included in decisions and accelerated in your career.
That’s the golden opportunity hiding inside what appears to be ‘just etiquette.’
Do it this way, then you will experience work harmony.
Meanwhile, I need to check in on the senior manager who is about to have a mental breakdown – and give her some pointers as well.