Hold on, everyone, because this is going to be good. I mean, really, really good! You have probably asked yourself this question if you are a true music aficionado and/or music historian: Who would have won if Debbie Gibson and Taylor Swift had faced each other in the late 80s? I know I have as of late, ever since I wrote about pop icon Debbie Gibson fairly recently, and now with the release of the 12th Studio Album of Taylor Swift, and all the attention it has been getting it got my brain working again in a strictly hypothetical train of thought writing style. This is the result of going into that mode once more and not holding back at all. Enjoy!
Wait, what? A showdown? What kind of fight are we even talking about?
Let me ask you all this question: What would have happened if Taylor Swift, with her current ‘era,’ public image, marketing brand and arsenal of meticulously crafted pop-culture dominance, had traveled back in time to the late 1980s and gone head-to-head with the undisputed queen of teen pop, Debbie Gibson? Yes, you heard that right, for all the ‘titos’ and ‘titas’ out there, you know exactly who I am talking about. But what if, for the sake of this truly wild, creative and imaginative hypothetical scenario, the impossible happened, and Debbie Gibson, with her keyboard and signature scrunchie, won?
Trust me, this is a thought experiment worthy of a late-night music video marathon session with a bag of potato chips and a glass of soda.
The challenger arrives: The ’80s ain’t ready for this
Let’s set the scene: It’s 1989. The air smells of hairspray, perfume and teen spirit (the good, pre-Nirvana kind). MTV was still a 24 hour music channel, and a fresh-faced, impossibly talented Debbie Gibson was at the top of the world. She wrote her own songs, produced her own records, and had a string of Number 1 hits that made every teenager feel seen and heard. Her music was pure, unadulterated teen-pop magic. ‘Foolish Beat’? A masterpiece. ‘Lost in Your Eyes’? Another masterpiece. Two songs that I was exposed to as a child I compare to being like lullabies and subconsciously influenced heavily my tastes when it comes to anything to do with pop as I discussed and shared with all of you in my Debbie Gibson piece.
Then, out of nowhere, a sleek, well-oiled marketing machine appears in a time-traveling DeLorean, and out pops the Taylor Swift of today. Haha. She has an army of devoted fans (the ‘Swifties,’ as they are called), that would make any aspiring artist weep, and a penchant for cryptic messages, carefully laid out teasers, and meticulously planned PR moves. Oh, and she also comes with her full catalog-meaning ‘Shake It Off,’ ‘Blank Space,’ and even ‘Cruel Summer’ are suddenly part of the late ’80s pop landscape.
For everyone’s information, the ’80s pop music landscape was brutal. Have you guys even seen the tremendous amount of talent that was around during that time? It is insanely massive in terms of the choice of artists of every ilk. Now, add to that, this. A seemingly endless parade of mega-hits coming out back then, which felt like an endless cycle of great music that everyone could enjoy. True to that, sometimes, a song would be number one for a single week and then disappear from the top spot forever. This was due to the intense competition from other chart-toppers, record platinum selling artists, pop stars, concert headliners, and hit-makers of that glorious era.
Taylor Swift might find herself in a world where her chart dominance is far from guaranteed. In fact, some of her best known songs now may not even have reached the top 20 of the charts back then because they would have been occupied by far better songs in terms of overall quality. She might even be up for an immediate rude awakening that this is an industry that she does not know at all given all the top-tier talent around and that would be a main reason as to why her popular songs now are not registering or making a dent in the numerous charts that existed in those years.
The initial shockwaves
The ’80s music execs, AandR executives and major record label heads wouldn’t know what to do with Taylor Swift. Her calculated image, the ‘eras’ tour concept, the vault tracks-it would all be a bit too much for the big-haired, big-ego tastemakers of that time. They would be perplexed by everything that comes along with her. Meaning, there is so much ‘excess baggage.’ They would find themselves in a predicament where they would end up making one of their first wrong moves and would most likely try to pair her with a ‘Bad Boy’ rockstar for a duet or something, completely missing the point of her self-contained empire. Taylor Swift would just be a little too complex for them to figure out when it comes to the non-music-related factors she brings.
On the other hand, Debbie Gibson is already a known and proven quantity. She’s real, she’s relatable, and she’s a bonafide prodigy. She’s just a normal girl from Long Island who makes great music. She’s already won over the hearts of millions with her natural talent, not a carefully constructed narrative. Debbie Gibson would be a far better choice, option and artist for them to get behind because she understands what the industry in that decade was all about without the excesses that come with it now.
The fight for the radio airwaves
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Taylor Swift drops ‘1989’ in the middle of 1989. Haha. A synth-pop sound, a tribute to the era she’s in, would be both a clever homage and a potential disadvantage. The ’80s already had its synth-pop icons; would they embrace a newcomer who just sounded like everyone else?
Immediately, people in that decade would know which artists were the originators of that sound and who were simply either inspired by it or even copying them. Taylor Swift might have come out as sort of a ‘copycat’ act that would have irked listeners when they would compare her best songs that she has put out to the ones that are already playing on the radio airwaves truly representing the synth-pop sound.
Meanwhile, while all of that is happening, Debbie Gibson’s ‘Electric Youth’ is already dominating. Debbie Gibson’s sound is fresh, and her persona is authentic. She’s not trying to be a different ‘era’ every two years; she’s just being Debbie Gibson. Her earnestness and raw talent would shine through, a refreshing antidote to Taylor Swift’s overly produced, hyper-curated aesthetic that is manufactured to seemingly no end. In contrast to all of that, the ’80s valued soaring vocals, big production, and raw, undeniable genuine talent. Debbie Gibson had all three, in spades. Why so? Debbie Gibson was what they call a complete package of an artist without trying to be ‘complete’ you know what I mean when compared to everything that goes on in the empire of Taylor Swift.
The plot twist: Why Taylor Swift lost
That’s the key. Taylor Swift’s current brand relies heavily on the 24/7 digital news cycle, social media dominance, Hollywood ties, endorsement deals, and the ability to control her own narrative. The late ’80s had mostly none of that. No Twitter (X), no Facebook, no Instagram, no Spotify and no endless think pieces analyzing her every move. In this back-to-basics world, her greatest weapons, assets, and dependables are neutralized and taken away from her making it a fair fight.
She would have to rely on traditional media-magazines, radio, and MTV-all of which were more fickle, not at all woke, and less controlled than the social media platforms she dominates today. Remember, back then, the record labels, the radio DJs, and the MTV VJs were the gatekeepers, as I have mentioned before. The irony is that Taylor Swift, for all her immense and influential power today, would have been just another artist trying to climb the ladder in a very crowded field.
Debbie Gibson, however, was born to thrive in that world. Her persona was made for the ’80s media and cultural landscape. Her story-the talented teenager who writes and produces her own hits-was a PR dream. It was simple, compelling, and didn’t require an advanced degree in ‘Swiftology’ to understand. She was a natural, a true star, and she didn’t need a viral hashtag to prove it because she was the real deal to begin with.
The verdict: The crown remains
In the end, Debbie Gibson would walk away with the victory. Not because she’s a better songwriter or a more talented singer-those are subjective-but because she is perfectly suited for her time aside from her gifted musical skills that are an amalgamation of the basic fundamentals to advanced techniques in singing. Debbie Gibson can also compose, she can structure a song, and she can perform them nearly identically if not even better live. She did not need songwriters or a team composed of former singers and retired lesser known artists from previous decades around her to conceptualize concepts, ideas and subject matters in her songs because she sang what was genuine to her real-life-experiences and not made up nonsense stuff. Everything from writing down thoughts to lyrics, pen to paper and singing her songs in the recording studio.
What many people don’t know enough about when it comes to that decade is this: The 1980s were about raw talent, authentic personalities, and the simple magic of a great pop song that was straight to the point. Indeed, there is beauty in simplicity and not because it is non-challenging, or easy to understand and absorb, but rather because you simply know when you hear a great song that speaks to you in a straight fashioned manner and not convoluted with all the lyrical analogies, mysteries and connotations.
Taylor Swift, for all her modern-day genius, would be an anachronism. That’s the best way I would describe her if I were to put her in the late ’80s. The reality is, her carefully constructed empire would crumble in the face of an analog, more traditional, more talented, non-woke, and ‘old school’ world that doesn’t care about ‘easter eggs,’ cryptic posts or secret messages. What they care about is clear as day: positive results. In the late ’80s, all that mattered was the music, and on that dance floor, Debbie Gibson’s star simply shone brighter than Taylor Swift and everyone else among her peers.
And that, my friends, is why old school remains cool. Because sometimes, nothing can surpass the fundamentals, as I always say.