For Chief Jite Tesigimoje, polygamy is not a lifestyle of excess; it is, in his words, a practical truth of human nature. His household is a microcosm of Nigeria’s diversity. He is married to women from nearly all the major ethnic groups-Igbo, Yoruba, Bini, Ijaw, Fulani, Urhobo, Isoko, and his own Itsekiri. To him, it is a reflection of unity and inclusiveness.
‘Every man wants to marry two or three wives if he has the capacity,’ he said without hesitation.
‘The reality is this: after a few years of marriage, a man begins to see his wife differently. He sees her naked from time to time-when she is going into the bathroom and when she comes out and perfects her beauty routines.
‘Familiarity sets in, passion fades, and intimacy becomes more like a duty. That is why you hear women complain their husbands no longer love them like before when they just got married.
‘It is not that the love is gone; it is that desire has been dulled by routine.’
He advised couples in monogamous relationships to live apart. ‘If they cannot afford different apartments, they should live in separate rooms.’
He gestured towards one of his wives who sat beside him throughout the conversation, saying: ‘She is listening and smiling. She knows what I am saying is true.
‘She is stunningly beautiful, just like the others. But if she were the only woman in my house, things would be different.
‘Men don’t talk about this openly, but I will. No matter how beautiful a woman is, one woman alone cannot sustain a man’s passion forever.’
His argument is not a dismissal of women but a critique of Western ideals. ‘Our colonial masters told us monogamy is the best way of life. Yet those same people are caught daily in scandals, with mistresses, colleagues, even staff members.
‘Why sneak around? Why live in lies? If you admire another woman, marry her. That is better than deceit.’
Tradition and the role of privacy
Chief Tesigimoje links his views not only to personal experience but also to cultural tradition. ‘In our culture, there is mystery between husband and wife,’ he explained.
‘When you share the same room, wake up and see everything about your wife every single day, where is the excitement?
‘When you start to see her as a sibling, that spark is gone. And incest, as our tradition teaches, is a taboo.
‘So why push a man into a life where his wife feels like a sister? Distance and privacy keep the love alive.’
This is where polygamy, in his view, plays a balancing role. ‘When a man has two or three wives, he creates space. He comes to each one renewed, excited, and appreciative. That freshness keeps love burning.
‘I can tell you confidently that many women in polygamous homes are more sexually satisfied than their monogamous counterparts.
‘But let us continue to deceive ourselves and build up angry and frustrated women, which will eventually lead to more divorces.’
The demands of a polygamous household
Though he champions polygamy, Tesigimoje admits that marrying more than one wife is not meant for everyone. ‘Polygamy is cheap only in theory. In reality, it requires enormous financial strength and emotional intelligence.
‘It would be suicidal for someone to dabble into polygamy simply because he sees someone else, or because I am doing well in it. You must ask yourself some questions, and one of those is: are you capable?’
Providing insight into the enormous cost he bears in keeping everyone happy and comfortable, Tesigimoje said: ‘In Lagos, I live in Eko Atlantic City and have 15 houses. Each of my wives lives in a five-bedroom duplex, and they all receive hefty allowances and other perks regularly.
‘That is why, when I am in Warri, we can all stay together under one roof peacefully, with some of the wives sharing rooms without any grudges.’
He reiterated that fairness and equity are the backbone of his successful management of his home. ‘Once I do something for one wife, everyone must get the same treatment. Whether you are the youngest, the oldest, or yet to have any child, you get your due.
‘Let me give you an example: yesterday (a day before the interview), I sent some of my wives ?250,000 each for outings with their children.
‘Within minutes, every one of them had heard about it. Those who didn’t get theirs called me to demand answers.
‘I got calls from Abuja and Lagos, while those who were in Warri and yet to get their alerts stormed into my room. They had already heard!
‘Before the day ended, I spent about ?3 million on ice cream. That is polygamy. You cannot afford to neglect anyone.’
Honesty, keyUnitunity in the home
Contrary to outsiders’ assumptions, the billionaire business mogul revealed that his household thrives on cooperation, not rivalry.
‘At my last wedding, all my wives came dressed in the same attire. They danced, they laughed, and they welcomed the new bride. Can you imagine that?
‘If there wasn’t unity, they would not have been there, smiling.
‘People often think polygamy breeds jealousy, but if you are honest from the start, your home can be harmonious.
‘So, even in sharing my bed, my wives are cooperative.
‘There is an order as to who comes into the master’s bedroom, but the cooperation of the women makes it even more seamless.’
While hinting at wife No. 20 soon, he warned men against deception. ‘Do not promise a woman or give her the impression that she will be the only one if you plan otherwise.
‘If your heart is set on five or six wives, say it from the start. Once she accepts, she will be at peace with it.
‘Problems only come when men pretend. My wives know that I love women, and this (19th wife) might not be the last.’
Strength, fitness and tradition in coping with the demands of 19 wives
Asked how he manages the physical and emotional energy required for such a large family, the billionaire laughed heartily. ‘Sex is the best exercise-better than any gym. It keeps blood flowing, strengthens the body, and prolongs life.
‘Western diets and drugs weaken men. In our tradition, we have herbs that keep a man virile all his life, no matter how long he lives.
‘My father is almost 90, and he recently impregnated two women. Virility runs in the family, and I rely on our roots to keep me strong.
‘Having many wives and failing to satisfy them would be an abomination.
‘Those who have tried my roots and herbs, including traditional leaders and friends, can confirm that I have some of the best herbal roots in the land (laughs).’
Beyond family: A heart for humanity
Despite his colorful personal life, Tesigimoje insists his legacy must be measured not only by his marriages but also by his enormous philanthropy. He recently launched the GIM Brown Foundation to streamline his charitable activities, which escalated during the COVID-19 pandemic.
During the lockdown, he supported widows, orphans, persons with disabilities, and other vulnerable groups. Today, more than 800 widows are on his payroll, as well as hundreds of other PWDs.
‘Everything I have is by God’s grace, not my strength. How do I repay Him? I can only do that by helping those who are less fortunate.
‘My advice to wealthy Nigerians is: if you have the capacity to uplift others, do not hold back, because the government alone cannot solve the myriad of problems in our society.’
As for his community of Ajudaibo, Escravos, he revealed his plan to kick off an 83-suite hotel, as part of his drive to bring development and opportunity home.
‘I love my wives, my children, and my people.
‘This is the life I have chosen. It is not for every man. It requires honesty, responsibility, and strength.
‘But with God’s grace, I have managed it. And I will continue to use what I have, not just for my family, but for my community and for humanity.’