Dear Aunt Stella,
I am at my wit’s end as I write this letter to you. In fact, I am so stressed that I have lost weight. A few years into our marriage, my husband started smoking. He is now a committed smoker, and nothing I do or say will make him change. Even though he does all his smoking outside, the house stinks.
Our bedroom smells like the inside of a furnace. His mouth and body stink, and so do his clothes. The children have stopped inviting their friends over because they are embarrassed by the smell. Short of leaving him, what can I do?
Yours,
Drowning-in-tobacco-fumes.
Dear Drowning,
You have my absolute sympathy.
My dear, you know your husband is an adult-only he can make the decision to change this terrible habit on his own.
That said, I will give you some advice. If you have a bit of garden space, just a few metres really, then this just might work. Go to the jobless corner in your neighbourhood and look for those strong youth, who are always hanging around with nothing to do. Hire them to build a small shed outside your house. It must not have any windows, just a door, and it should be able to accommodate a very small single bed.
Transfer all your husband’s clothes and belongings to that shed and explain to him that because you cannot live with the stench of the cigarette smoke, this is the best solution. Use everything and everyone in your power to convince him to sleep in the shed for at least two weeks. He should bathe there as well.
Every day when he leaves for work, go to the shed and light a cigarette. Let it burn to the end while you watch, then put it out safely and leave the shed. Make sure you shut the door tightly behind you. If after two weeks of living this way he still chooses to smoke, then you have two options. Learn to live with second-hand cigarette smoke or go live in a better environment-without your husband.