Satire: How Bebe will vote for Bobi on Jan 15

The Gagamel Entertainment boss of all big sizes recently listed Tracy Melon among the top artistes of 2025, despite not knowing who she is, noting that her listing was based on her visibility rather than any identifiable hit.

The veteran Ugandan musician, popularly known as Bebe Cool, has left everyone in open-mouthed shock after admitting that he does not personally know songstress Tracy, despite including her on his annual list of top Ugandan songs and artistes for 2025. Consequently, the music industry is seriously considering renaming Bebe ‘Sam’, which is short for Samnesia.

Bebe made this stunning confession while releasing his much-anticipated end-of-year list, 2025, which assesses creativity, consistency and influence within Uganda’s music scene.

Singling out Tracy Melon-best known to fans for songs such as Kakana and Ogenda Kulilaba-the Gagamel boss said her inclusion was based largely on her visibility.

‘I do not know this artiste, but I keep hearing the name,’ the Mambo Mingi star said. ‘She is a trending name without a clear outstanding hit song. Specifically, I cannot point a finger at any of her songs. I don’t know that artiste, but I know the name.’

He added that if she had a major song or a widely recognised music video, he would be familiar with it, given his long-standing involvement in the industry. Anyway, Bebe is a well-known logician.

He proved this by separating Bobi from himself by saying Bobi is not a single person. He is two in one, a twofer, like how Mzee was both cat and rebel during the Bush War that culminated in his interminable rule.

Bebe, being a logician who cut Bobi in two, knows the word syllogism. In logic, a syllogism is a three-part logical argument using deductive reasoning, combining a general statement (major premise) and a specific statement (minor premise) to reach a certain conclusion, like: “All humans are mortal (major), Socrates is a human (minor), Therefore, Socrates is mortal (conclusion)”.

These premises must be true and logically structured for the conclusion to be valid, demonstrating how specific truths can arise from broader principles. By this logic, Bebe votes for trending musicians. Tracy is a trending musician, so he votes for her. Therefore, he will vote for Bobi, who is also a trending musician.

It’s clear Bebe will use this syllogistic train of thought to dump the ruling party. To make matters worse, he will explain it by saying: ‘I do not know this artiste, but I keep hearing the name Bobi. He is a trending name without a clear outstanding hit song. Specifically, I cannot point a finger at any of his songs in 2025. I don’t know that artiste Bobi, but I know the name.’

Bebe has stated that Bobi and Kyagulanyi are the same person but represent different personas: the political figure and the musical artiste.

In a 2019 interview, the Wire Wire hitmaker specifically stated, “Bobi is not a Member of Parliament, it is Kyagulanyi who is an MP. The difference is he is using two faces to do two things at the same time”.

This perspective suggests that the “Bobi” character is free to perform music, while the “Kyagulanyi” persona is the one involved in politics and subject to police restrictions on public gatherings.

In other words, the Fire Burn Dem singer can only vote Bobi into office because he (Bebe) only votes trending musicians such as Bobi and Tracy. Mzee is out here. His most famous track, You Want Another Rap? (also known as Mpenkoni) has not been trending for years now, so Bebe is sure to ignore him at the polls.

Some top government officials are accusing Bebe of pulling a reverse-Mpuuga on them. However, Bebe insists that he is no turncoat, his coat remains yellow. If anybody doubts that, he adds, he refers them to the title of Chameleone’s 2005 song, Bomboclat.

‘I have been a die-hard NRM guy for all my life. Before I was born, the colour yellow was there and just waiting for me to come and vote. Haters better lay low like Mzee’s envelope,’ the singer said.

Bobi reportedly says he detects no Fitina here.

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