Do you remember a time when advice was refreshingly simple?
‘You seem overwhelmed.’
‘Maybe you need rest.’
‘Perhaps this job is no longer working for you.’
Fast forward to the present. Several coaching conversations begin with questions that sound more like a university philosophy seminar.
‘What is your ultimate purpose?’
‘Who is your authentic self?’
‘Are you aligned with your core identity?’
Suddenly, a person who simply wanted help managing stress or figuring out their next career move is now questioning their entire existence. It like life before this conversation had no meaning but just motion.
Coaching has become one of the fastest-growing tools for personal and professional development. According to the International Coaching Federation Global Coaching Study, the majority of clients report improved confidence, communication, and work performance after coaching engagements. And this is a good thing right?
Yet somewhere along the way, coaching also developed a love affair with existential buzzwords-see I have also used a big word.
Terms like purpose, clarity, alignment, and identity are now thrown around so casually that clients can leave sessions feeling more anxious than empowered. At least the initial conversation feels as much – remember the first impression lasts-so make it a good memory.
Read: What mental health at work needs
And that is the irony. The average person is not waking up every morning searching for their ‘higher calling.’ Most people are trying to survive traffic, deadlines, difficult bosses, rising costs of living, family pressure, and a WhatsApp group that refuses to sleep.
A simple problem like: ‘I think I need a new job’ quickly becomes: ‘Let us unpack your identity crisis.’
That escalation may sound humorous, but for many clients it creates real pressure. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that while having a sense of purpose can improve wellbeing, the intense pressure to constantly pursue and define purpose can also increase anxiety and reduce life satisfaction.
The truth is, clarity is not always a lightning bolt moment. And if you already got it before your coaching session – BRAVO to you.
For many people, it is trial and error. It is changing careers at 40+ years. It is discovering you enjoy baking more than banking. It is realising your ‘purpose’ may simply be raising decent children, earning an honest simple living, and finding peace of mind. And that is perfectly fine, yes very fine and this need to be seen as being enough. Why should it not be?
Good coaching should simplify life, not make clients feel like they are failing an advanced philosophy exam. Research in Coaching Psychology: A Practical Guide emphasises that effective coaching relies heavily on psychological safety, mutual understanding, and shared language between coach and client.
In simple terms, people grow faster when they feel understood – not intimidated.
Just in case your client has to secretly Google coaching terminology after a session, something has already gone wrong. Perhaps this is where coaching needs to evolve.
Instead of: ‘Do you have total clarity?’ Maybe ask: ‘What is the next small step you want to take?’
Instead of: ‘Let us redefine your identity.’ Maybe ask: ‘What matters most to you right now?’
The best coaches are not necessarily the ones with the deepest vocabulary. They are the ones who can translate complex ideas into language that feels human, practical, and safe.
They meet clients where they are instead of dragging them into concepts they may never have considered before. Or even worse, make them fit into a theory or a system that they have created and claim it is tested and works.
Because not everybody is searching for a grand purpose. Yes please. Not everyone. Some people are searching for stability. Some are searching for rest. Some are simply trying to make it through the month with their sanity intact. And perhaps that deserves just as much respect.
Maybe the future of coaching is not about sounding deeper. Maybe it is about becoming easier to understand – one clear, jargon-free conversation at a time. My fellow coaches – let us try this simplicity – I confirm it works.