I struggle with the idea of crying openly
The last time someone genuinely checked on me was about two weeks ago. A friend I work with pulled me aside and said, ‘Let us put work aside for a moment. How are you?’ We ended up having a real brotherhood conversation. I was surprised because we are usually focused on projects and deadlines. When I hear the phrase ‘be a man,’ I have mixed feelings. On one hand, it can feel affirming, especially if you are working towards matching the stereotypical idea of a man. On the other hand, it comes with pressure and unrealistic expectations. As men, we are often valued only for what we provide or achieve rather than who we are as human beings. Sometimes it says more about the person using the phrase than the person receiving it. Many of the expectations attached to masculinity were shaped in a different era. Society has changed, but some of those ideas have remained, making it difficult for men to navigate modern life while carrying traditional expectations.
If I could change one thing about men’s mental health, it would be encouraging more dialogue between generations. We need honest conversations about why so many men are struggling and how society has changed. Many young men are carrying the weight of expectations they can no longer meet, and it is affecting their wellbeing. Men will thrive when they are allowed to explore different paths, express themselves freely, and pursue the things that give their lives meaning. When it comes to vulnerability, I believe it is healthy for men to express their emotions. However, if I am honest, I still struggle with the idea of crying openly. Personally, I would rather cry in private than in public. That is not because I think crying is wrong, but because many men are still judged for showing emotion. Even so, I believe men should not suppress their feelings. Sometimes emotions become too overwhelming to hide, and there should be no shame in expressing them.
One challenge many men face is feeling pressured to follow a narrow definition of success. Society often celebrates careers such as medicine, law, or engineering while looking down on creative paths. As a digital creator and storyteller, I experienced that firsthand. In the beginning, I was ridiculed for the work I chose to do. Even some members of my family did not understand my vision. People questioned my choices and doubted my future. Thankfully, I believed in myself and stayed committed to my calling. Today, the same work that was once mocked is beginning to make sense to those around me. I feel happiest and safest when I am doing what I was created to do. Storytelling, meaningful conversations, music, creativity, and art make me feel alive. They reconnect me to a sense of purpose and allow me to contribute positively to the world around me.
Ivan Nuwaha, Student at Kabale University
Sometimes people dismiss your struggles
The biggest sources of stress for men are usually financial responsibilities, family obligations, and social pressure. Young men also face challenges. There is pressure to establish yourself financially, support your family, maintain relationships, and prepare for the future. And then there is comparison. You look at your friends and peers and see them achieving certain milestones, while you may feel left behind. Whether it is career growth, financial success, or personal achievements, comparison can make a man question his own progress and worth. Unfortunately, coping with stress is not always easy. Society often tells men to ‘man up.’ When a man opens up about his struggles, some people view him as weak or incapable. Because of this, many men choose to suffer in silence.
Personally, I try to talk to close friends when I am going through difficult situations. Many men also turn to sports and entertainment as a way of relieving stress. Watching football, for example, helps some people take their minds off their problems for a while. Some men resort to alcohol or substance use when they feel overwhelmed. Men need more opportunities to openly discuss the challenges they face. Workplaces can create spaces where employees talk about stress and mental wellbeing. The more these conversations happen, the more men will feel comfortable seeking support.
I would rate my own support system five out of 10. There are times when I open up to family members and trusted friends, but there are also times when I keep things to myself because sometimes people dismiss what you are going through and tell you that your problem is too small to worry about. That can make it difficult to seek help again. My message to fellow men is to not carry every burden alone. Sometimes the strongest thing a man can do is ask for help.
Andrew Mwanguhya, Journalist and Host of The Game of Life Podcast
Many people see the success, the smile not the struggles
One of the biggest things society needs to change is how it views men emotionally. Men feel, hurt and have emotions. Most importantly, men want to be understood. There is often an assumption that only women want understanding and emotional support, but men need that too. Being understood gives them fuel to move forward
Vulnerability, I believe, differs from person to person. We all have different levels of comfort when it comes to sharing our struggles. There are things I can talk about openly and things I cannot. There are moments when I feel ready to share, and moments when I decide to deal with something privately. It comes down to self-awareness. When you understand yourself and your emotions, you are better equipped to respond to challenges.
I sometimes struggle to ask for help, especially when it comes to finances. Part of it is not wanting to inconvenience other people. I often tell myself that I can find a way through the situation on my own. However, when circumstances become overwhelming, I turn to people I trust and explain what I am going through. I have learnt that talking to the right people can bring a great sense of relief. Many people see the success, the smile, and the achievements but do not see the personal struggles behind the scenes. Sometimes you are carrying financial pressures or unfulfilled ambitions while still showing up every day and doing your best.
What glitters on the surface is perhaps not the full story. When people return to the quiet of their homes, the truth reveals itself. So again, awareness. When it comes to happiness and peace of mind, financial stability certainly helps. Money may not solve every problem, but it gives you the freedom to meet your responsibilities and make decisions without constant stress. Beyond that, I find a lot of peace in solitude. I enjoy spending time with people, but I also value my own space.
Gideon Nova Kwikiriza, Digital consultant
Many men are trapped in silence
There is progress around men’s mental health. Years ago, the perception was very different. Men were often expected to suppress their emotions and be strong at all times, yet challenges do not choose between men and women. I am a victim of those social expectations myself. However, I have come to understand that being emotionally open is not a sign of weakness. If a man is struggling, he should be able to talk to someone he trusts. When men are denied that opportunity to express themselves, the consequences can be serious. Many men find themselves trapped in silence, carrying burdens they feel they cannot share because they have been told that ‘a real man’ does not talk about his problems. Some reach a point where they feel completely alone. This is one reason why we see high rates of suicide among men.
Our upbringing also plays a role in how we handle mental health. Some men grow up in environments where emotions are openly expressed, while others are raised to suppress them. Because of these differences, we cannot expect all men to respond to difficulties in the same way. For me, one of the most important lessons is knowing when to seek help. If you cannot speak to a friend or family member, then seek professional support. There is no shame in doing so.
Beewol – Radio host
Allow men to break down
The things that stress me as a human being, not just as a man, are many. On any given day, there could be more than 20 things weighing on my mind. It could be bills. Other times it is uncertainty about the future. I get stressed when things do not go according to plan, when expectations placed on me feel overwhelming, or even when the sports teams I support perform poorly.
When I feel overwhelmed, I listen to music, meditate, and read. When I am particularly low, I often sit quietly and allow myself to process whatever I am feeling. It may seem unusual, but silence helps me find clarity. One thing I rarely do, however, is share my struggles with other people. I tend to look inward for solutions rather than outward. Perhaps that is something that needs to change.
In terms of support, I do not ask for much. I have learnt to live with simple and modest expectations. What I want from family, friends, colleagues, and the people around me is understanding. I want them to recognise that I am doing my best. None of us is perfect, and failure and disappointment are part of life. The same grace I extend to others is the grace I hope they would extend to me. I find peace by spending time by myself. It may seem ironic because I love people, but being alone with my thoughts gives me a sense of calm.
Sadly, I do not think my support system is particularly strong. The ugly truth for most of us men is we keep things to ourselves because we do not think those around us can handle the pressure we have. Others have tried to open up and have been judged harshly so we cave in to the fears of things like vulnerability and sharing. If I could change one thing about how society treats men, it would be to allow men to break down, feel emotions, and ask for help without fear of ridicule.
Society needs to be kinder to men, especially those who are pillars of others. Such men give so much love but rarely get that love given back to them. Do I feel appreciated enough as a man? The truth is people far away from me usually tend to appreciate me more than those close to me. And that is the natural order of things. A prophet is never appreciated in his hometown. Some hobbies that men are often judged for enjoying prompt comments such as, ‘Why would a fully grown man watch soap operas, sing karaoke, read romance novels, drive a small car, or buy flowers?’ I do not watch soap operas myself, but I do not mind when other men do.