In life, you wish to see what is coming to you, which has nothing to do with where you were going. So when death stole up on Mohammed, Uditha ‘Ujay’ Jayaratne’s longtime buddy, it hit him hard. ‘I see it as a sacrifice he made to teach me a lesson,’ Ujay says. ‘I was still invincible.’
Having eaten the fruit of knowledge, the CEO of Bupa Global Kenya had come to believe certain truths. Effort equals outcome. Hope is not a strategy. Cuddles from your daughter may be free, which is precisely why they are priceless. He is a daughter’s dad, and where life undoes his seams, she sews him back together. He misses being on the saddle, hitting the road, because life is what you make it, and he intends to make it one hell of a ride.
Who are you to yourself?
I didn’t think we were going to start there. Eddie, I can tell you what makes me, me now. I know I’m quite old, but I’m still discovering who I am. I’m motivated. A passion for health drives me, and I have a vision. My children make me, me. One tests my patience, and the other gives me loads of love. I have a boy and a girl; you can figure out which tests my patience and which gives me love.
I took the Kenya job because I saw it as a huge opportunity to really transform something. And I genuinely believe it. That’s why I’m not complaining about having to work six or seven days a week.
Would you consider yourself a workaholic?
I’m a motivated individual. Some may classify me as a workaholic, but I’m okay with it. I live here by myself; I came to achieve something, to build something for Africa from a healthcare perspective. I tell my colleagues, ‘I don’t want to see emails from you on the weekends,’ because everyone needs to prioritise balance. But it’s not something I’ve practiced myself.
How does work-life balance look for you?
I prioritise my health. I make sure I get at least six hours of sleep, on average. Don’t tell anyone, but I am tracking my calories [chuckles]. I’m watching what I eat, and I go to the gym at least three times a week. I try to stay active by playing badminton with my friends.
With your family away, how do you maintain the emotional connection?
That is the tough one. I miss my children. When the Africa job came up, I was invested because I was part of the team that drove the strategy that said Africa needs to grow its focus. But then my children are in the UK, and I knew I’d have to move. And they’re close with their mum, so it’s not fair for me to uproot them or do anything. That was probably one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make. But we FaceTime every morning and night. I prioritise as much as I can with them, but it’s not the same. I know I’m missing out on certain things.
What was your tipping point?
When I’m invested, I want to see it through. I joined Bupa 11 years ago with a very career-minded move because I wanted international experience. I didn’t really appreciate what was going to happen to me when joining the organisation, which is the buy-in to the philosophy, the ambition, the purpose, which is longer, healthier, happier lives and making the world a better place. I feel like if you cut me open, I bleed blue, right? I believe, Eddie.
What’s your fatherhood philosophy?
It’s evolving, I’m learning. My upbringing was different from the way I’m bringing up my children; it was much stricter. I had an old-school dad, raised very disciplined. I’m trying to be more open, more consultative. But my fatherhood philosophy is a big question. I’m a provider and protector, and I am the person they should turn to for guidance or for someone just to listen.
What’s the best piece of parenting advice you’ve received?
From my boss, Anthony. He said, ‘Your job is not necessarily to prescribe where they go. It’s just to listen to them. Make sure they’re happy and healthy. The rest of it, the universe will work out.’
Which one has demanded more from you, leadership or fatherhood?
They’re both demanding in different ways. I want to be the best father and the best parent. And do right and provide for my children. This is a personal drive and passion. Can the two intertwine? I don’t know. I want my children to be proud of their dad.
Do you think your success inspires them or pressures them?
A bit of pressure. I think my children suffer a void because I’m not as present as I could have been if I were working in the UK. In the beginning, when I moved here, I would shower them with gifts, and I realised, that’s not what my daughter wanted. She wanted quiz nights with me. And that’s been tough. This year, I made a conscious effort. Even if I’m tired, if she wants quiz night, we’ll do quiz night. My boy is slightly different. He’ll talk to me for 30 seconds, and he’s like, ‘Dad, I’m busy, bye.’ So you have to adjust.
It means a lot more to me when I go back every two to three months and see my children. When you go back you want to do everything and anything. I think that’s good, because when I was in the UK, did I take it the proximity for granted? Probably.
What did your younger self think success would feel like now?
Oh, I thought I’d be rich and famous [chuckles]. My parents thought I was going to be a doctor haha! When I was younger, success looked materialistic: a nice car, a great house, a great life. But I’m learning to be more results-focused. I want my time on this planet to have been meaningful.
But how important is satisfying that materialistic side first?
Well, I’m going through a personal discovery. I was born a Buddhist, and I had a conversation this week with three other CEOs, and they’re all discovering their purpose. It’s fascinating because everyone’s going through this voyage of discovery at the moment of trying to understand who they are, what their purpose is. I said that in the roles we do, if you can belong without attachment, you’d find sanity. And I’m trying to ground myself on that.
What happened to Buddhism?
Still there. A good Buddhist is an atheist in a lot of ways. And it’s someone who believes in themselves. It’s taken me 47 years, but I think I’m getting there. I’m having that courage within me to believe in myself and know that I am capable and that I will deliver. And I don’t need other things to influence that. I think everyone is a Buddhist, irrespective of religion, because it’s about living by morals and principles.
What have you become less certain about as you’ve grown older?
Taking things for granted, whether that’s relationships or putting a plan. I’ve learned that effort equals outcome. And I’m less certain about wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. You have to own your outcome. You have to put the effort in.
What do you miss about yourself before you became important?
There’s a part of me I miss where I was younger and more fun. I was more social, and life was a bit simpler. I miss that me. I had a friend of mine from the UK, one of my best friends and he sent me a picture of me and him together, must have been my early 20s. And part of me laughed because I looked ridiculous. Fashion sense was not there. But the memory was golden. I miss that because the energy was different.
Leadership is lonely, and being in a new country is a different kind of loneliness. How are you maintaining your social ties?
It’s developing. Could I have made more effort to build a social network here? Yeah, I haven’t. And that’s because my focus has been getting this business set up and running. I made commitments to the regulator here that we will build a business that he’s proud of. And I don’t want to let him down.
How do you reward yourself?
I’m not sure I do. I reward myself in the sense that I enjoy achieving, right? Sounds cliché, but I genuinely enjoy being able to do the impossible or do the things that people think can’t be done.
What have you learned?
It’s really easy for someone in a position that’s CEO to think they are all that. You are not. Is it the position people respect or the person they respect? Those are two very different things. I think there’s an element of respect that is given when you are in a position. But true respect is earned by the person who holds that position. And it’s very different, and I think leaders need to do more and continue to do more to continue to earn that respect.
If you were to give you daughter some good advice, what would it be…
Don’t believe in your own hype. Don’t forget the hard work it took you to get to a position of responsibility. Don’t forget that when you’re in that position of responsibility, you have a responsibility to make an impact.
And the one thing I’d say is relationship in any industry is the single currency. People say trust. I disagree. Relationship is the currency. Trust is just the multiplier on the value of that currency. Everything I’ve been able to do is because of the relationships I’ve fostered and the currency I hold.
What is a truth about life that more people should know?
Life is fragile. Here one minute, gone the next. I lost one of my closest mates, Mohammed. We grew up together; he was two years younger than I. And during Covid, he went to sleep and never woke up. And that tells you that you have a window you don’t really know. We all should embrace the fact that whilst we’re here, we should try to push ourselves to be as happy as we can and make others happy. But actually, do something that makes a difference, makes an impact.