SPANKING and physical discipline with objects like sticks, brooms, or hangers were widely accepted and considered effective by many parents, favoring the ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ to correct the misbehavior of a child.
Such support for ‘tough love’ has recently found its way into some arguments meant to delve into why, it seems, some of the younger generations these days seem ‘weak’ and impulsively point to their ‘mental health’ problems when in crisis.
An expert, however, has asserted that, everything else considered, it is still not good parenting to use force on a child; and that it won’t ‘toughen’ the child against crisis in the future.
For Psychology Professor Dr. Liane Peña Alampay of the Ateneo de Manila University, more frequent spanking is linked to greater anxiety and aggression in children over time, as she cited international research that includes Filipino families. Alampay presented the findings during the recent Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture.
The findings challenge the familiar belief that ‘pamamalo’ produces more disciplined children, pointing instead to the benefits of warm relationships in the home, clear expectations, and nonviolent disciplining.
Largest global multicultural project
In her Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture, Alampay drew from the Parenting Across Cultures (PAC) research project, the largest multicultural and longitudinal study of its kind in the world.
Over 15 years, the PAC project followed children and their parents in nine countries-some 4,500 families in China, Colombia, Italy, Jordan, Kenya, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand, and the USA. As the Philippine site lead, Alampay examined how parenting shapes child development and how culture influences parent-child relationships.
Alampay said that the beliefs of parents and attitudes, behaviors, relationship with children shape a personal, physical growth, psychological adjustment, cognitive development, pro-social behaviors, and anti-social behaviors.
‘These are borne out of of a wealth of research studies, but also in our personal experiences as children of our parents, and as caregivers ourselves’ Alampay emphasized during the lecture.
Corporal punishment
Across the various cultures it studied, the PAC project found that more frequent physical punishment predicted greater anxiety and aggression. Cultural acceptance of the practice sometimes weakened these outcomes, but did not transform physical punishment into a beneficial practice.
‘In no instance does corporal punishment have positive effects,’ Alampay said, underscoring the project’s findings.
She noted that in the Philippine context, corporal punishment is often synonymous with discipline.
‘But I want to correct that; there are many types and forms of discipline. We need to discipline our children, but in ways that are not harsh or inflicting pain,’ she explained.
Alampay’s research challenges the assumption that warm, accepting parenting is a Western approach unsuited to Filipino families. Across the nine countries, rejection, neglect, and hostility toward the child were consistently associated with later emotional and behavioral difficulties that remained from age seven to 14.
In contrast, children who felt valued and accepted were protected from aggressive or antisocial behaviors, depression, and anxiety in relationships.
Alampay also said that preventing school violence depends on addressing children’s relationships at home and in school. Rejection or harsh parenting at home can combine with bullying and exclusion in school, leaving distressed young people vulnerable to online groups that encourage violence.
‘Of course, we need to make schools safe spaces, not just safe in terms of cameras and bag searches, but safe with a teacher, safe with classmates,’ she said, calling for parenting support and environments where children feel accepted and can trust adults.
Authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting
The Filipino parents represented in the research were among those reporting the strongest authoritarian attitudes, emphasizing strictness, obedience, and respect for authority. Alampay distinguished this approach from authoritative parenting, which combines rules and expectations with warmth, open communication, and recognition of the child’s perspective.
Moreover, close family ties also emerged as a potential strength. Valuing family responsibilities-such as helping in the home, spending time with the family, supporting siblings, and respecting parents-predicted later helpful behavior and, among Filipino participants, protected against the effects of negative parenting by shaping the meanings of parent behaviors. This variable may be related but not equivalent to ‘utang na loob.’ How family obligations can bring about positive as well as negative effects among the youth needs further study.
She added that parenting also reflects pressures outside the home: financial hardship, unsafe neighborhoods, and household instability can strain parents’ well-being and relationships, increasing the risk of harsh parenting.
Putting research into practice
As a way of putting research into practice, Alampay discussed Masayang Pamilya (MaPa), a Philippine adaptation of the Parenting for Lifelong Health support intervention that aims to promote positive caregiver-child relationships, prevent violence in the home, and enhance caregiver and child well-being.
MaPa teaches caregivers practical skills through model scripts, guided practice, illustrated stories, and stress management. A randomized controlled trial of MaPa for young children found reductions in child maltreatment sustained a year after the program.
Likewise, her team is working with the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) to expand MaPa through family development sessions for conditional cash transfer beneficiaries.
Alampay shared that the best way to reach parents is through support and empathy, rather than judgment for most parents do not intentionally choose negative parenting. They would like to see their children thrive but do not know how to do it.
‘We are also products of our history and how we were parented; it is all we know,’ she said, added that it is reassuring, however, that when provided with inputs, parents are motivated to unlearn past practices and learn new behaviors that will help foster positive relationships.
Alampay’s lecture is part of the Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture Series’ current focus on the family, bringing Ateneo de Manila University research into public conversations about children, relationships, and well-being.