HAVING children who are 20 and 17 now, I am continuously learning that parenting teenagers involves learning when to hold on and when to let go. Today, that independence unfolds in a digital world that changes faster than most parents can follow. At the recent TikTok #ThinkTwice Troop Townhall I attended, one message stayed with me: Our job as parents is not to know everything our teens know, but to keep the relationship strong enough that they still want us beside them as they navigate it.
Kuya Kim Atienza, veteran television host, educator and parent creator, captured this generational reality simply: ‘Teens nowadays are different. We just have to accept, as parents, that teens are different, and we have to speak their language.’ He continued, ‘We just have to listen without judging and meet them where they are. As we meet them where they are, we also have to learn their language. We will not be able to meet them where they are if we’re not on social media.’
That does not mean parents must imitate their teenagers or follow every trend. It means understanding enough of their environment to have a meaningful conversation about it. I picked up from him that our authority cannot depend only on the favorite phrase ‘Because I said so,’ like how our parents raised us in the past.
The digital age also makes adolescence more complicated. Dr. Francis Dimalanta described how identity exploration now happens before an audience and in real time, with algorithmically generated feedback.
Online spaces can offer belonging, but their always-on qualities can also bring risks involving sleep, social comparison and cyberbullying. The digital world is not simply good or bad. It is a space our teens are inhabiting, and they need support and guidance from people they can truly trust. This connects with Sheila Estabillo of Plan International Pilipinas, who said: ‘Each of us has a role to play. Our ultimate goal here is not to remove teens from the digital environment, but to equip them with the necessary practical skills so they can safely navigate the online environment safely, critically and responsibly.’
My interview with undersecretary Angelo Tapales of the Council for the Welfare of Children helped place this family conversation within a wider system of child protection. He explained that the council is an interagency government body attached to the Department of Social Welfare and Development, and discussed the Makabata Helpline 1383 as a central mechanism for children’s concerns operating 24/7. He described linkages with government partners including the PNP and NBI among others, for relevant concerns, as well as connections for mental-health cases that need escalation.
Usec. Tapales also discussed the council’s work with the Department of Education, including linking the Makabata Helpline with the DepEd hotline to address bullying, cyberbullying and other concerns involving children. His broader point was that child protection begins at home but continues in school and in the community. This matters in a digital age because online harm does not stay neatly online. The people and institutions surrounding a child need ways to respond together.
Another point from my interview struck close to my own advocacy: Play. Usec. Tapales highligted that under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, children have a right to play-not only games and leisure, but open spaces where they can play. For families living with screens, this reminds us that digital balance is not only about what we remove. It is also about what we make room for-play, movement, rest, family time and real-world relationships.
Dr. Francis Dimalanta has been a long advocate of play. He has shared his Age-by-Age L.E.A.R.N (Learn, Explore, Art and Active, Read and Nurture) play regimen for 0-8 years old through Ogalala. I learned that time spent in various types of play with my children through the years, has set a strong foundation for our open conversations today, of both their physical and digital worlds.
I believe parenting a teen in the digital age is not about winning a race against technology. We probably cannot. It is about making sure technology does not outrun our relationship with our child. We can learn their language without surrendering our values, set boundaries without becoming a police figure, and listen without immediately judging. Our teens may explore a world very different from the one we knew, but they still need something timeless: a home for a question, a mistake, an uncomfortable experience brought forth or a new idea, and know that conversation is still open. In a world of many links, feeds and algorithms, perhaps our strongest connection will always be the human one.
As parents, grandparents, titos, titas, ninongs and ninangs, let’s build this foundational and much-needed connection with children around us today, to guide them in developing skills toward a healthy mental and social environment for themselves.