On a warm June afternoon in Butenga, Isingiro District, a community gathered to mark a rare and quietly astonishing milestone: 75 years of marriage between John Mark Bamureba, 103, and Mary Nakasiya, 93.
At 103, Bamureba carries himself like a man who has made peace with time. His memory remains remarkably sharp, holding fast to the long arc of his life. His wife, now frail and unable to speak, uses a wheelchair and is tenderly cared for by a helper and a nurse.
From humble beginnings
Bamureba’s story began in 1923 in Itojo, Rwampara. He was born to Peresi Ntungwako, a local priest, and his wife, Ntungwako. At five years old, he was sent to live with his grandmother, the late Rebecca Aribawulide, at Ruharo Hill in Mbarara Town. Bishop Fred Mwesigwa of Ankole Diocese notes that Aribawulide was a prominent lay leader at Ruharo Church of Uganda-now the diocese’s headquarters.
‘The records about my birth and age are clear because my father had attained some education under missionaries, was a priest, and kept a record of this,’ Bamureba explains.
His education began at an elementary vernacular school in Ruharo. However, in Primary Three, a severe illness struck his right foot, forcing him to leave school. He was taken to Tanzania, where missionaries operated on him. Following his recovery, he returned to the classroom, eventually completing his Primary Seven in Kabwohe.
After finishing school, Bamureba returned to Ruharo and joined a skills programme offering tailoring, carpentry, and building. He chose pottery, though the craft was later dropped from the curriculum. While living with his grandmother, his sharp demeanor caught the attention of local missionaries.
‘I was very smart and disciplined, and those missionaries were good friends of my grandmother,’ he recalls. ‘During that time, I stayed home doing casual work.’
Climbing the ranks
Having learned some English during primary school and his pottery course, Bamureba seized an opportunity when an interpreter position opened up.
Ambitious to become an office secretary, he later approached a friend-an inspector of schools-to help him connect with the District Commissioner (DC). Instead, the inspector introduced him to the visiting Assistant District Commissioner (ADC). Impressed by Bamureba’s smart and intelligent presentation, the ADC granted him an interview.
A month later, Bamureba was offered a job-not as a secretary, but as a messenger earning a meager five cents. Undeterred, he kept his dream alive by learning secretarial skills on the job.
‘The secretary I worked with taught me how to file letters, read, and reply to correspondence,’ he says. His diligence paid off; he was eventually promoted to secretary, and his salary rose to 12 cents.
A courtship built on faith
By 1950, encouraged by the prayers of his mother and grandmother, Bamureba began thinking seriously about marriage. A friend told him about three eligible young women. As a committed churchgoer, Bamureba selected the one he found most suitable: Mary.
The courtship required persistence. His first letter to her went unanswered, but his second brought a positive response. His grandmother knew Mary’s family and gladly gave her blessing. Bamureba notes that, unlike today, families back then were strict and thoroughly vetted marriage matches.
The wedding day
The couple wed on February 6, 1951. Coming from a humble background, organizing the wedding was a massive hurdle. Paying the bride price, buying a gown, and securing transport were constant worries. Fortunately, his father reused a cow received from his sister’s earlier dowry to pay Mary’s bride price, though he warned Bamureba that no further financial help would be coming.
The challenges didn’t stop there. They had to borrow shoes for the bride because no suitable size could be found, and Bamureba borrowed his wedding suit. Vehicles were scarce; he managed to hire a lorry to transport the main party 35 kilometers from Ruharo to his father’s home in Ndeija. A friend lent them a Volkswagen for the bride and her aunt, while the rest of the entourage walked seven kilometers to Ruharo.
Despite the constraints, the wedding was a joyful success and remains one of Bamureba’s most cherished memories.
Secrets to a 75-year union
When asked what has kept them together for three-quarters of a century, Bamureba credits God’s grace and their shared faith. He was saved in 1971, while his wife had accepted Christ even earlier.
‘We stayed in love because of forgiveness, endurance, compassion, respect, and care-all Godly values for marriage,’ he explains. ‘If you are bound by the love of God, you live in harmony. My wife and I loved each other equally.’
“The idea of ‘I am the man; this is my home’ does not work. If you knew you were a man, why bring her in? Marriage roles are complementary.” – John Mark Bamureba
He also warns against the dangers of financial secrecy. “One thing destroying families today is not being open about income. That breeds suspicion and mistrust. My wife and I have always been completely open about our finances, savings, and investments.”
Advice for the next generation
Bamureba urges modern couples to avoid material comparison. Living among wealthy families in the Ankole kingdom, he and his wife chose humility. When his wife occasionally desired the expensive clothes she saw others wearing, he would gently remind her of their priorities.
“I reminded her that we were of humble means and competing would jeopardize our children’s education. She understood, and that is how we managed to educate all of them. Today, they are doing well and looking after us.”
He advises young people against rushing into commitments. ‘Today, people meet in markets, bars, or on the streets and quickly rush into marriage. That is why many marriages do not last.’
Legacy and health
Today, Bamureba follows a disciplined daily routine. He wakes up for prayers at 6:00 AM, greets his wife, has breakfast at 8:00 AM, and sits in the sun at 10:00 AM. After lunch at 1:00 PM, he naps until 4:00 PM. Following dinner at 8:00 PM, he joins the family for evening prayers at 10:00 PM before retiring for the night.
Bishop Mwesigwa attributes the couple’s incredible longevity to their deep-rooted faith, noting that the Ankole Diocese celebrated 219 couples who had crossed the 50-year marriage milestone in 2022 alone.
Their son, David Bamureba, also points to their healthy lifestyle.
‘They eat local food and vegetables and are very careful about their diet. Mzee constantly listens to radio programmes on health and nutrition, adapting to whatever advice resonates with him.’