Being God’s dog is not glamorous at all. That is why there are very few of our species. Why would anyone enrol as a dog when they can masquerade as a prophet?
However, those who have made the truth sacred know that it is far easier to hear a pack of lies from a prophet than from a dog. Almost always, the prophet will leave big question marks. The dog will leave the truth self-evident.
For instance, prophets have taught ordinary people to recite like parrots, that all rulers are chosen by God. This is a huge, huge claim. It is huge because the ruler is responsible for the livelihood and general wellbeing of millions of people. Whichever entity chooses this ruler must have thought very carefully about the options available, as well as the different methods that could be used to put that person in power. A mistake could mean a crook or a monster getting into power, compromising the prosperity or safety of the citizens.
Therefore, as God’s dog, I must clarify, stating categorically that God is still lying in a condition of divine rest. He cannot take part in the choice of rulers.
The frequency of the parroted lie makes it necessary to just as frequently issue a correction. Indeed, if God were an active player, we would have to conclude from circumstantial evidence that he bears a grudge – or even outright malice – against African hominids.
Why, because Africans have been unfairly burdened with chronic misrule. God would have to explain why He did not identify and propel better human beings into Africa’s leading governance roles. I have recently been hearing some of Uganda’s NRM politicians singing that God wants them to remain in power because they are warriors of sexual morality and champions of the family. Even as a dog, I can tinker-tinker with my snout and manage a kind of laughter.
Warriors of sexual morality?
I suppose they are still trying to milk that old anti-homosexuality stand. But sexual morality is a far wider field than gay and lesbian eccentricity. Why are NRM politicians not citing Fort Portal and Mbarara, the cities that overwhelmingly vote for NRM and also have the highest HIV prevalence rates? Does God want NRM to stay in power because He (God) approves of the activities of these cities as alleged champions of promiscuity and general sexual immorality?
Then again, does God want NRM to stay in power because He approves of the regime’s horrendous corruption? Moreover, if God were part of this, He would face the question whether He is the same God who commanded that ‘Thou shalt not steal’. He would have to explain whether He approves of rigging and stealing elections as a legitimate method for putting His anointed individuals in power.
As Tanzania’s recent general election shows, one could say that God so hated Tanzanians that He arranged for them a regime that suppresses their critical voices and kills or locks up its political rivals; and the same God hated them some more by arranging that the regime be re-elected with a 97 percent-majority thrown in the voters’ faces as a final insult.
That would be a contemptuous God, a dishonest God; an evil God. When the God of Abraham, Jacob and Isaac gets up – if he ever gets up – and engages in man’s political processes, I will be the first to report. For now, He remains in a state of divine rest. Clean or mess up your countries; you are on your own.