May 2006, just before the soccer World Cup in Germany. Eight O’clock. About 20 of us were in the waiting room at the United States embassy in Kampala, waiting for visa interviews. The telly was on. The morning show on UBC TV had legendary sports presenter James Opoka, bless his soul, together with my lovely lawyer friend, Jane Kasumba.
They were interviewing comedian Jimmy Okoth, a real crazy cat, better known as Olanya Columbus. Talking about the ‘Samba Boys’ (Brazil’s national team), Opoka asked him, ‘On which continent is Brazil?’ Olanya, spotting a very large straw hat, paused ever so slightly, then, with disarming innocence, quietly said, ‘It depends…’
Until that point, I was under the illusion that I was the only one watching the show with interest. Turned out I was wrong, because just then, everyone burst out laughing! It broke the ice in the room and eased the tension that comes with waiting for American visa interviews. Folks – strangers to each other – began to relax and were soon talking freely. I remembered this incident two days ago when a friend sent me a message of anguish. His daughter – a very sharp lawyer whose work I deeply respect – recently passed interviews for some government job.
Turned out, lawyers that she comfortably beat – and who scored 30s – got the jobs. He also said all those lawyers came from a certain geographical area. Now, which one was it? Mercy me! Anyway, I’m sure my memory will improve soon. I called back, laughing, and told him, ‘Welcome to Uganda.’ Olanya was spot-on. In Uganda, nothing is straightforward; everything, even the otherwise most obvious, really depends on a lot of things. Like American Jerry Lee Lewis sang in the 1950s, ‘There’s a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on!’ There’s lots and baskets full of stuff happening behind the scenes. What an exciting time to be alive!
Here’s the code for those who are still trying to figure out Kampala and Uganda. Don’t get excited easily. Be calm. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
Coming top in an interview doesn’t mean you will get the job; interviews count for nothing. Absolutely nothing, when it comes to working in government. Take a quick survey. Ask anyone who has competed for a job in government. Check out the parastatals and tell us how many of the top dogs came top in the interviews.
In fact, check every job – then sit down and make yourself a cup of black tea and sip it slowly, in silence, as you appreciate why a cow that is black, eats grass that is green and produces milk that is white.
Interviews serve accountability purposes – that interviews were conducted. But beyond that, nothing, really. Oh, and by the time you see an advert up in the papers for this or that position, trust me, nine and a half times out of 10, a decision has already been made. Sometimes the person is even already working…quietly – and poor you, the son of your mother, are busy reading up for the interview. Let’s sum it up like this. Being jobless doesn’t always mean you’re incompetent, and having a job doesn’t always mean you’re competent. It depends. Excelling in an exam doesn’t mean you will pass it, and performing badly doesn’t always mean you’ll fail it. Even passing a pre-entry test into university doesn’t mean you’ll be admitted. It depends.
Being arrested doesn’t always mean you committed a crime. And not being arrested doesn’t mean you are clean. It depends. Committing a crime doesn’t mean you will be arrested, and if you are arrested, it doesn’t mean you’ll be prosecuted. It depends. Winning an election doesn’t always mean you’ll be sworn in…and losing an election doesn’t mean you won’t be sworn in. It depends. The court records testify. When a nation institutionalises cheating, theft, and the disregard of merit, several destructive dynamics emerge.
Meritocracy vanishes: talent is sidelined, innovation stalls, and ambition erodes when ‘technical know-who’ matters more than technical know-how. Trust in institutions sinks; degraded governance breeds social fragmentation, cynicism, and, inevitably, instability. Inequality deepens as elites capture the benefits while the vulnerable are left behind, which damages cohesion and the long-term sustainability of the nation. Put simply, a culture of ‘it depends’ becomes a trap – it doesn’t just slow development, it fundamentally distorts the social contract and compromises a nation’s future.