Cindy, ani eyakugamba nti oli King? And do not say ‘myself.’
You just stopped me from giving the actual answer.
Who is your prime minister? The person you call when King Cindy needs to make a serious decision.
Nobody. Only God. I may seek different perspectives from different people, but ultimately, the decision is mine to make.
What is it like being a king that makes people fight for the throne?
I do not make anyone fight for the throne. It is mine. Some people are uncomfortable with that fact, but honestly, I do not care.
Naye nga oli king of what?
I am the king of my style. I am the king to my fans all over the world. Basically, I know who I am.
As the King Herself, even if we have not seen your kingdom, at least you must have an anthem… what is it?
Every hit song I have written or sung is an anthem in its own right. But I am also working on an official anthem for Team Cindycate, so maybe that will be the real royal anthem.
If you woke up tomorrow and discovered you actually ruled a country, what is the first thing you would do?
First, I would gather a strong team to work with me. Then I would seek a meeting with President Ibrahim Traoré. After that, I would be ready to rule!
Would your royal guards be intimidating or just your bi friends standing around looking confused?
They would be standing around looking casual and completely harmless. You would not even realise they were my royal guards.
What is the most ridiculous law you would introduce if you were an actual king?
Nothing ridiculous, actually. I would make people swear upon a traditional god and not the Bible.
If someone refused to acknowledge you as king, what would your command read like?
I do not force people to respect or acknowledge my presence. It is okay if you do not.
If your kingdom had one official food, what would it be?
Rice and beans. It is my favourite, so if I am king, we are all eating rice and beans.
What punishment would anyone earn for farting in the palace?
Leave the room. Immediately!
As HRH, would you rather have a throne made of gold or one made entirely of comfortable pillows?
Gold. I like gold. Comfort is important, but if I am going to have a throne, it might as well look royal.
What animal would be your royal mascot?
A lioness. Strong, protective, powerful and she does not need to make too much noise to let you know who she is.
If you had to fight one historical king for the title, who are you picking?
Buganda. It is still the strongest kingdom. Then I would add it to the Bunyoro Kingdom, which is my home. So really, I wouldd be creating a very powerful kingdom.
What is something completely unroyal about you?
I bite my nails when I am nervous. Very unroyal behaviour.
There is a huge international scandal involving you. What would you have likely done?
Probably telling the truth on a matter people are in denial about.
If you could appoint one completely unqualified person as prime minister, who would it be?
I would not want to give away my prime minister role just like that.
Who in your family knows how to humble King Cindy?
My Mum, without question. She can bring King Cindy back down to earth very quickly.
What crime would be punishable by 20 years in the royal dungeons?
Defilement and rape. Those are serious crimes, and I would have absolutely no tolerance for them.
What would your royal birthday celebrations look like if you were king?
Free wine and champagne across the entire country. If it is my birthday, everyone is celebrating!
Would you rather be feared, loved, or mildly respected as king?
A healthy balance between loved and feared. When you are loved, people want to be around you all the time, and I am quite a loner in real life. So, a little fear would benefit me a lot.
What would your kingdom’s currency be?
We would go back to barter trade and cowrie shells. That is real energy. Not just paper.
If you could have one superpower because you are The King, what would it be?
The power to disappear and reappear. I love my space, so imagine being able to disappear whenever I want and then reappear exactly where I need to be.
What is the one thing your royal subjects would constantly gossip about you?
How they do not understand me. They would probably spend a lot of time trying to figure out what goes on in my head.
Who in Uganda would you allow to challenge you for the throne?
None. That opportunity has passed. The throne is already occupied.
If you could steal one person’s fanbase and make them your subjects, whose would you take?
Chameleone. I think that would be an interesting kingdom to rule.
Her Royal Highness, if we were dethroning King Cindy today, who would you nominate to take your throne?
Winnie Nwagi. She can have it.
Finally, kusagga aside, do you actually believe gwe king?
Yes. Otherwise, we would not be having this interview with the word KING all over it.