International media strategist Chief Adetola Adeniyi and historical scholars have challenged Western marital standards, describing global monogamy as a ‘pretentious lie’ that masks widespread serial divorces, secondary households, and covert multi-partner relationships across continents.
The declaration came during The Toyin Falola Interviews, a global panel discussion hosted by Professor Toyin Falola focusing on the theme ‘Polygamy: Amplifying African Voices’. The panel featured Chief Adetola B. Adeniyi, Professor Mukhtar Umar Bunza, Dr. (Mrs.) Faleke Victoria Ogunnike, Dr. Teboho Solomon Ngubane, and Professor Emeritus A.B. Assensoh.
Opening the session, Professor Toyin Falola explained that the conversation was convened to critically examine cultural adaptability, responsibility, and historical continuity without blindly accepting Western standards. ‘I did not set up this conversation to condemn it, to affirm it, or to say that Western marital ideals are the best,’ Falola said. ‘Neither did I set up this conversation to be uncritical because I want to uphold cultural authenticity’.
Speaking during the session, veteran international journalist Chief Adetola Adeniyi criticized the hypocrisy embedded in Western marital doctrines, arguing that true monogamy is a myth. ‘I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet Earth truly practices monogamy,’ Adeniyi declared. ‘My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American, and other Caucasian friends routinely visit their other wives called by other name with whom they have children. Back in the home state they shared with one carrying ring, they are monogamists’.
Adeniyi argued that Western societies, which condemn traditional African and Islamic polygamy, routinely engage in serial monogamy and extra-marital relationships under alternative names. ‘The Western world, which had not learned the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof, has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in, should not be a measure of standard for the world,’ he noted.
He drew attention to the psychological and social toll borne by individuals forced to live double lives to conform to artificial legal and religious expectations. ‘To the whole world, they were champions of monogamy, but to their hearts and conscience, they were celebrated polygamists or at best serial monogamists,’ Adeniyi observed. ‘I saw pain written all over them, the agony of living a lie, the unease of hypocrisy, and the shame of going through life pretending to be what you are not’. He added that even Western historical figures exemplified this reality: ‘We know of King Henry VIII and several major historical figures in Christian courts, Europe, who had more than one wife in addition to a string of wives who their laws forbade them to address as wives, but who nonetheless are wives by other names’.
Linguistic and communication scholar Dr. Victoria Ogunnike reinforced Adeniyi’s observation on Western marital practices by clarifying the definition of multi-marriage arrangements. She noted that public discourse often conflates terms, hiding the reality that multiple sequential marriages are simply another form of polygamy. ‘The term polygamy has its etymology from the late Latin as polygamia, which means frequent marriages, and in Greek as polygamos, which means married several times,’ Ogunnike explained.
Responding to her etymological clarification, Chief Adeniyi pointed out that by definition, Western serial divorce and remarriage fall squarely under polygamy. ‘Polygamy means marrying several wives or several times, which means all Europeans who marry and divorce, marry and divorce are actually polygamists, all of them,’ Adeniyi stated. ‘So by your definition, every human being, every male who had married several times is a polygamist… there’s no monogamy on Earth’.
Historical and religious scholar Professor Mukhtar Umar Bunza supported the critique of Western legal frameworks, pointing out the contradiction in prohibiting traditional polygamy while legalizing non-traditional family models. ‘It’s not all what West term as bad or ban as illegal that we on our own side will view, will see, will accept as illegal,’ Bunza said. ‘First, if one observes what is happening in Europe, they ban polygamy, but they allow same-sex marriage, man taking man, woman taking woman. So how come? In our own side, they discourage what is legal and they want us to take what is not known in tradition, in human civilization, and even common sense’.
Bunza further argued that multi-partner unions have been a constant throughout human civilization, from ancient Mesopotamia and Greece to Biblical times, making Western attempts to universalize monogamy historically inaccurate. ‘Throughout human history, as much as you have polygamy, so you also have monogamy being practiced hand-in-hand in human society,’ Bunza stated. ‘Take for example the Assyrian civilization, Mesopotamian civilization, Egyptian civilization, Chinese civilization. Go to Greece, go to Roman, go to Christian, go to Islam… it is an institution that if you look at it from the beginning of human race up to date, it refused to give up’.
Adding a global perspective on non-Western marriage systems, Professor Emeritus A.B. Assensoh observed that multi-partner practices extend beyond Africa and take various forms across continents. ‘Due to my earlier professional interest as a journalist, I traveled extensively and came across several instances of marriages, particularly in Asia,’ Assensoh shared. ‘I came across polyandry, whereby a woman could have two men as spouses, and I came across polygamy in other forms, polygyny, whereby the man would have more than one female partner or wife… all forms of marriage have their merits and their demerits’.
Dr. Teboho Solomon Ngubane emphasized that Western critiques often miss the core cultural values that sustain structured multi-partner families in non-Western societies. ‘Polygamy is not a new concept in Africa… For generations, many African communities practiced it as part of their culture and social systems before Western intervention,’ Ngubane noted. ‘However, our forefathers never taught that polygamy was merely about having multiple wives. They taught that it was about responsibility, discipline, wisdom, and Ubuntu leadership’.
Warning of the long-term global consequences of enforcing artificial monogamy, Chief Adeniyi urged societies to abandon hypocrisy and face demographic realities. ‘Why should the world continue to live the life of the ostrich?’ Adeniyi questioned. ‘Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-a-vis polygamy so that in the not too distant future, we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose lifestyle will be worse than prostitutes and millions of children whose fathers will be nowhere to be found’.