Who is a parent? Is it only one who has a biological bond? Or can humanity be gentle enough to endear itself to the extent where strangers become maternal or paternal protectors, thus filling vacuums of sorrow with compassion and selfless love?
The contemplation of the above came upon me after I casually asked Akitha Deshan, the ecotourism guide who had shown me the interior of Sinharaja rainforest, about the sentence tattooed upon his hand. It was an emotional phrase about a son who longs for his departed father. He answered my question by stating that it is only a few weeks since his dad passed away. I offered my condolences. After a short pause where he seemed to make an assessment whether he should elaborate further or not – and after which he finally did – he confided that his biological father had passed on when he was a child and that this dad was someone who had relocated from his home country – Switzerland – to Sri Lanka.
He had wished to live his retirement in a warmer climate and do some good to the locale. Having established his residence in Hikkaduwa about three years ago he had met with Akitha initially to request some translation and help with errands. These pertained to social service oriented work he was doing for several families in the village. Many families received monthly provisions and some were given allowances as per their need.
‘His name was Peter Maria Gabriel Christen. He was from Switzerland. In his heart lived divinity. He did so much for people he barely knew and was cheated so many times as a result. Finally he met me and asked me if I could help him with translations and purchasing some of the things he needed to distribute to the village monthly. He wished to live like a recluse and did not wish to travel much. I took on the tasks as needed and I used to give him all the receipts and bills with change upto the very cent. It was a training I had when shopping for my mother who had to get everything done without my father. I did not wish to take payment from Mr. Christen for these small shopping and translating tasks I did. It just seemed to me that I should help out as this gentleman was helping citizens of our country.’
‘This was the beginning. After that he got to know about me. My longing for a father was filled by him so sincerely. He was a businessman from a family of entrepreneurs. He had handed over his business company to his son and moved to Sri Lanka, having first come here as a tourist. Although he made no show of it I think he was a deeply spiritual person who was interested in Buddhism and merged it into the ethics of his own religion, Catholicism.’
Was there any feeling of jealousy or resentment by his own son back in Switzerland that his father showered so much paternal affection on another?
‘The beauty of it all was that he treated me just as another brother. It was a short time that I got to spend with my dad – just about two years – before he got diagnosed with cancer. He passed away almost two months back. I was written into his will just in the way his son was and his son’s reaction was as protective of me as his father had been and exactly how he would have treated another sibling. We all live and die. We face sorrows and joy. But my father, who came all the way from Switzerland to care for me, as well as my new brother, taught me that the only one thing we need in this world is love. It is not money. It is genuine love.’