British singer Louis Tomlinson honored his late fellow One Direction member Liam Payne ahead of the latter’s first death anniversary, saying he and other band members looked up to him during their time together.
Liam died last October 16 after falling from a window in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He was 31 years old.
Louis told The Rolling Stone UK he found it “really, really, impossibly difficult” with Liam’s passing.
“Naively, I thought that because at this point, I’m relatively well versed in grief for my age, that it might soften the blow,” Louis said. “[That was] super-naive. It’s very different. I’e never lost a friend before.”
The two formed One Direction with Harry Styles, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik (who departed the group a year before One Direction’s 2016 hiatus) and last July marked the boy band’s 15th anniversary but the first without Liam.
The milestone was “really uncomfortable” for Louis but still found it “more important than ever” to recognize it on behalf of his late friend.
He admitted that previous anniversaries made him “sick of nostalgia” though the most recent one hit differently with Liam gone.
“You know, there’s still a level in my head [where it feels] unjust and frustrating that he’s not with us anymore,” Louis continued. “So, it just brought up those feelings, although I’m still living with them anyway.”
Louis said Liam had the “safest pair of hands” among the One Direction members as the latter had some entertainment experience already.
“None of us would have admitted it at the time, because you have a lot of pride as a young lad, but we all looked up to him like that,” Louis added.
Meanwhile, on the “Diary of a CEO” podcast, Louis shared that he learned of Liam’s passing through a phone call from Niall.
Louis compared knowing the news to the death of his teenage sister Félicité back in 2019, “I think anyone has this when they’re around someone who’s struggling – my 150% wasn’t nearly enough.”
“And that’s when it’s my own arrogance thinking that I could have helped really, because it was so much deeper than what I could have done for him,” Louis continued.
“He was definitely struggling at that time in his life.”
The singer recalled the tribute post he made for Liam following his passing, explaining he wanted Liam to be remembered “the way that he should be remembered.”
“I could just go on and talk all day about how amazing he was, but I think we all looked up to him,” he reiterated. “I don’t think we would have been brave enough to say at that age when I was in the band, I think I would’ve had too much pride, but we all looked up to him massively.”
Liam’s funeral brought back all members of One Direction, including Zayn, together for the first time since the group went on hiatus.
Louis is set to release his third album “How Did I Get Here?” and promote it with a world tour, and will reunite with Zayn for a Netflix roadtrip documentary series.