Once upon a time, there was a woman and a three-year-old boy seated on a couch. The woman was pretending to read a book while the child was playing with his toys. He kept fetching more toys from a box in a corner and lining them up on the couch.
Eventually, the couch was full, with almost no more space for the woman and her book, so she told the little human, ‘Let me give you space.’
She stood up as she said these words and went to the kitchen to find something adults do in there, but also to give him more room to play on the couch. Alas, when she turned around, the little one was standing right behind her, looking up at her with big expectant eyes. When she asked what he wanted, he asked with a big smile, ‘Where is space?’ That was the beginning of an hour of the child asking for space, and the woman wondering what in the world he meant.
He started to cry out loud, rolling on the floor while yelling, ‘I want space!’ Anyway, eventually, a chocolate chip cookie and water were used to calm the child down and distract him from his demand and quest for this elusive thing called space.
Later that evening, almost seven hours after the incident (because she is that slow), the woman finally had a light bulb moment. The realisation left her in stitches and a bit of self-reprimand. Why did it take so long to figure out what he was saying? It was right there in the words. If you too are like the woman and have not figured it out yet, here it is. When she said she was going to give him space, his little mind immediately thought space was some kind of toy, food, or shiny present of sorts. This thinking was influenced by the fact that there had been a lot of gift-giving in the previous weeks.
But also because he held his mother in such high regard that when she promised something, he knew without a doubt that she would deliver it and in a timely manner. So he waited for the space. When it did not come in the form he had imagined it, he started to demand it and even turned on the waterworks for effect.
Call it misinterpretation, misunderstanding, or delulu like they say these days, we’ve all been victims at one point in time. Someone says one thing, and you receive it and understand it in a completely different way and then get disappointed when your great expectations are not met.
The election campaigns come to an end this week and the long awaited voting finally takes place on Thursday, 15 January (if nothing happens to warrant ‘denomination’ of the plan). Just because they said they would give you the moon, the stars, and Kalerwe, does not mean they will give you the kind of leadership you dream of.
Good healthcare, smooth roads, and all the other things on your wish list might mean something completely different where they come from, so calm down when they say they will give it to you if you vote for them. Use your head and a bit of heart, not just your stomach.
But if filling your stomach is the biggest need, then by all means, munch away. We do not judge. When the employer tells you they are going to give you a New Year’s salary raise, ask what exactly they mean. Do not assume it is a cash raise of substantial amounts. Because your congratulatory letter from human resources might be coming hot off the printer with a polite one percent increment.
The problem is if you had immediately upgraded your debt the minute they told you about the raise. When the lover promises to love you with all their heart and soul all the time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, what they might mean might be that that is all they have, literally.
No job, no income, no friends, no functional family relationships, no life outside their relationship with you. Just their unhealthy, cringeworthy obsession with you.