I just binge-watched 50 Cent’s documentary on Diddy: Sean Combs: The Reckoning and came out changed. Not healed. Not evolved. Activated. I realise I have been doing this wrong. All of it. Life. Grudges. Existing. And before you come at me with your ‘let it go’ energy and ‘be the bigger person’ nonsense, I tried that. You know what it got me? Back pain from the moral high ground.
Operating on 5 Cents
As I watched the reckoning unfurl decades of beef with the calm confidence of a man who knows his enemies better than their own PR teams, I realised something deeply concerning. I have been operating on 5 cent energy this whole time. I have hated people politely. Internally. Privately. I have disliked people who do not even know I dislike them. I have forgiven people who did not ask. I have taken the high road so often I should have frequent flyer mile. I even talk amicably with my exes.
50 does not just say ‘I do not like you.’ He goes way back. ‘You were born with a face so ugly no one wanted to carry you as a baby’ kind of back. He is doing origin stories for his beef. He’s got lore. He’s got timelines. Nothing shows hatred like stringing it together in episodes. Building narrative arcs. I have been giving people one-off shade when I should be writing trilogies.
50 Cent does not just have beef. He has a whole cow. He is not holding grudges, he is curating them. He is the museum of modern malice. The Louvre of long-term resentment. Hating is his canvas. Petty is his brush. And he is glowing while at it.
This man wakes up and chooses violence with the consistency of the sunrise. He does not let things go. He plans. He waits. He strikes. Fiddy will bring up something you did in 2000 in a 2025 Instagram post with receipts, time stamps, and probably your old MySpace photos for good measure. That is dedication.
The year I glow on petty
2025 has been, for me, that year that you do not claim. That does not count. The year that goes straight into the ‘do not acknowledge’ file. Next year when someone asks my age? I am still 40. Because I have decided, with the full authority of someone three whiskys deep, that 2025 never happened. We are skipping it. Like that one cousin at family reunions. Like leg day. Like consequences. In 2026, we are not setting body goals again. It is a year of what would 50 Cent do?
Trespass against those who trespass against me
The Lord’s Prayer says ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’ Beautiful. Poetic. Not happening. From now onwards, I will trespass against those who trespass against me. Because forgiveness is divine, but petty is therapeutic.
Petty revenge does not have to be reckless. It can be patient. It can be witty. It can be well-timed. It can look like silence while you win.
Like success that feels personal. Like joy that feels inconvenient to your enemies. 50 Cent did not teach me to fight people. He taught me to outlast them, loudly. He is not petty. He is strategically petty. He is a historian of disrespect. An archivist of audacity. A scholar of shade. And honestly? That is the energy I need in 2026.
So here’s to 2026, the year of strategic pettiness. The year of long-game grudges. The year of documented disrespect. The year I finally operate on 50 cent energy.
XOXO
The Kat
Baddie Rule of the Week:
l Remember everything with photographic clarity, keep receipts like your life depends on it and wait for the perfect moment. Patience is petty!
Mini Manifesto:
l Do not be the bigger person.
l Do not ‘Let it go’. You are not Elsa and this isn’t Frozen
l Do not give people the benefit of the doubt. The doubt can benefit itself!