Muslim marriages will remain vulnerable to conflict and resentment when spouses focus more on what they are entitled to receive than on what Allah requires them to give, lawyer and arbitrator Barrister Siddeeqah Tunde-Lawal has said.
She spoke at the National Conference on Islamic Marital Reform held at the Crescent University, Abeokuta, Ogun State.
Tunde-Lawal, who presented a paper titled ‘Reforming Muslim Marriages Through Rights, Responsibilities, and Mutual Compassion,’ said the crisis confronting many Muslim homes was not necessarily a failure of Islamic guidance but a failure to properly understand and implement it.
She urged Muslims to move beyond teaching spouses their rights without equally emphasising their responsibilities.
According to her, an imbalance between rights and responsibilities could turn marriage into ‘an arena of entitlement, resentment and competition rather than a partnership founded upon ma’ruf, mercy and mutual care.’
Tunde-Lawal also cautioned against misconceptions about women’s obligations, stressing that legitimate marital obedience should not be transformed into unlimited compliance.
‘A Muslim woman is not required to surrender legitimate dignity or participate in wrongdoing in the name of obedience,’ she said, adding that both husband and wife remain servants of Allah first and must regard marriage as an act of worship and obedience to Him.
She urged wives to respect legitimate marital rights, communicate respectfully, protect the trust placed in them and contribute positively to family life.
The conference, organised under the theme ‘Knowledge, Responsibility, Mercy and Justice in Building Healthy Homes,’ brought together Islamic scholars, legal practitioners, government officials, counsellors and married couples from across Nigeria.
As part of the conference’s preventive approach to marital instability, the Insight Institute, Mahdul Baseerah, in collaboration with the Shariah Arbitration Committee, Ogun State, launched an eight-week online Certificate in Islamic Marriage and Pre-Marriage Studies (CIMPS) programme.
The programme comprises 16 live sessions conducted twice weekly for 90 minutes and combines Islamic jurisprudence with psychological, counselling and financial perspectives.
It is targeted at singles preparing for marriage, engaged and newly married couples, marriage counsellors, imams, community leaders and divorcees preparing for remarriage.
Declaring the conference open, Alhaji Kamaldeen Akintunde, who represented the Olowu of Owu Kingdom, Oba Prof. Saka Adelola Matemilola, commended the Ogun State Government for sustaining the Shariah arbitration system as a mechanism for promoting peace and resolving disputes among Muslim families.
The monarch urged participants to move beyond discussions and implement the solutions presented, while assuring them that the Ogun Muslim Council would work with the League of Imams to promote the welfare of Muslim families across the state.
Delivering the keynote address, Dr Sulaimon Ogunmuyiwa, Director of Quality Assurance at the Lagos State Ministry of Education, said marital strength should not be measured by the absence of disagreement but by how couples handle and resolve conflicts.
Dr Afiz O. Musa, Director of Mahdul Baseerah and a member of the Shariah Arbitration Committee, presented findings from cases handled by the committee since its establishment in March 2018.
He said the voluntary and conciliatory body had handled more than 200 cases, with marital disputes accounting for the majority.