Emotions drive humans. Our actions and responses to others’ actions are driven by our emotions. Emotions, therefore, determine a lot of the outcome of our human endeavours. Whether we will succeed or fail in life will, to a great extent, be the outcome of our emotions. It’s, therefore, highly essential for everyone to make conscious efforts to manage their emotions. This is also needful if marriages are to succeed and be enjoyed by those who enter into them.
What are emotions?
Emotions are complex psychological and physiological states that influence our thoughts, behaviours, and interactions with others. They are automatic responses to internal or external stimuli, shaped by our experiences, culture, and biology. That’s why I wrote earlier on here that emotions are determinants of our behaviours in the journey of life, and the outcome of such behaviours: success or failure.
With reference to marriage, emotions are responsible for the successes or failures we experience. Let me be a bit practical about it. In the Bible, we have the example of Abraham and Sarah in handling their challenge of barrenness. They were both overwhelmed by the emotion of shame, such that Sarah offered to give Abraham her maid for a wife. Abraham, in the same vein, accepted the offer.
They wanted to take away their reproach by that action. But they didn’t think through what the consequences would be. They forgot that in numerology, what comes after 6 is not just 7. We have 8, 9,10,11,12 etc. That is why in my tribe, it’s stated thus as, ‘Ohun ti o wa leyin efa, o ju eje lo’. It simply means we must think through our actions before engagement.
The husband who beats his wife and the wife who engages in verbal abuse of her husband are driven by the emotion of anger to act that way. Adultery is basically a thing of emotion. A wife meets an ex, and in a moment of emotional tipsiness, she gets into bed with him. Or a husband who sleeps with his housemaid is also driven by his emotions. All these are why marriages crumble or are being endured instead of being enjoyed.
It’s, therefore, needful for couples to understand their emotions and be proactive in their behaviours in marriage.
Types of emotions
We have the common and obvious ones, and the uncommon and non-obvious ones.
These are: 1. Happiness 2. Sadness 3. Anger 4. Fear 5. Surprise 6. Disgust
7. Jealousy 8. Guilt 9. Shame 10. Empathy 11 Sympathy 12. Excitement.
These must be understood and properly managed to enjoy our relationships, especially marriage.
In order to do this, we need to know the following about emotions.
Emotions are personal and subjective. It’s relative to individuals. That’s why we are different from one another.
Emotions trigger physical reactions, such as changes in heart rate, facial expressions, and hormone levels. In essence, they are responsible for rapid heartbeats, sexual pleasure, hard looks, body language, vocal tone, etc.
Emotions can shift rapidly, changing in intensity and quality with time.
The ability to manage these emotions will go a long way in determining the health of the marriage. Each couple must pay attention to managing their emotions so that they can sing a song of peace, love, and joy in marriage.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great Sex Life’ and ‘How to Help Your Wife Enjoy Sex’. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.