When a scandal strikes at the very heart of societal norms, the public reaction is rarely measured. Right now, our national discourse is caught in a fever. The revelations surrounding wrongful paternity have sparked a sycophantic frenzy of outrage, cultural defence, and unwavering rallying behind the stance of the elders.
The adults are shouting.
The comment sections are raging.
The social fabric is being torn apart by adults litigating the sins of adults.
However, in the midst of this deafening noise, a profound and sobering silence surrounds the most important question of all – What about the child?
In our rush to condemn the deception, to protect the pride of the wronged, and to uphold the dignity of tradition, we have completely bypassed the only truly innocent party in this entire tragic equation. If we are to follow this current wave of outrage to its logical conclusion, we must stop and ask ourselves what exactly it is we are demanding for the child. What should be done?
When the elders speak and the public roars in agreement, what is the implicit decree for the life that was brought into this world through no choice of their own?
Should the child be banished? Should they be thrown into a crocodile-infested river to wash away the sins of the parents? Should we revive ancient cruelties and brand a ‘Mark of Cain’ upon their forehead, so that society may easily identify and shun them for a transgression they did not commit?
These questions may sound absurd or intentionally provocative (yes, they are), but they are the necessary mirror we must hold up to our current societal frenzy. If we do not actively define a compassionate place for these children, we are passively condemning them to a lifetime of collateral damage.
What has the child done wrong?
Absolutely nothing. Yet, they are the ones who stand to lose the most:
their identity
their family structure
and their sense of belonging.
Does this child suddenly stop being a Motswana? Does a DNA test retroactively strip away the culture they were raised in, the language they speak, or the soil they were born on? Is this child no longer entitled to the rights, the dignity, and the protection of an indigenous Batswana?
A society’s moral compass is not calibrated by how loudly it can condemn deception, but by how fiercely it protects its most vulnerable.
Right now, we are failing that test. We are allowing the sins of the mother and the understandable agony of the supposed father to completely eclipse the humanity of the child. It is time to take in a deep collective breath and step back from the ledge of emotional outbursts sweeping our social media. The elders have a right to their stance on morality and honesty, and the public has a right to its shock. But a justice that creates a new victim ceases to be justice; it becomes tragedy.
We need to calm these raging waters. We must separate the actions of the adults from the intrinsic worth of the child. Until we can look past the scandal and see the bewildered face of a child who is wondering where they belong, our outrage is nothing more than destructive noise. The true test of our cultural strength is not in our capacity for collective anger, but in our capacity for collective grace.
We are a people with deep and lingering noble cultural roots.
We are human.
We are Batswana.
How the rest of the world sees us is as important as how we want to be perceived by the rest of the world.
A Reflection on the Proposal for Mandatory DNA Testing at Birth: A Question of Social Cohesion.
The recent proposal by the Ntlo ya Dikgosi to mandate DNA testing for all newborns touches upon a deep and undeniable anxiety within our society. The chiefs are giving voice to a genuine crisis of trust that is currently fracturing our communities. However, when evaluating any sweeping social policy, the duty of leadership is to look past the initial intent and rigorously ask the most critical question of governance: ‘Then what?’
If we implement universal, state-mandated biological policing at the moment of birth, we must be fully prepared for the aftermath. When we trace the trajectory of this policy, it becomes clear that it risks exacerbating the very social unravelling it seeks to cure.
The Reality of ‘Then What?’ and the Threat of dire consequences.
We must ground this discussion in the sobering reality of the prevailing social climate in the country. Botswana currently faces a devastating epidemic of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), with rates of violent assault and homicide against women standing among the highest on the continent. In this context, transforming the maternity ward (a place already fraught with immense physical and emotional vulnerability) into a theatre for potential domestic crisis is profoundly dangerous.
This is not a matter of advocating for infidelity or the dismissal of the deep betrayal that a man experiences in cases of paternity fraud. Deception within any matrimonial or partnership setting is destructive. However, the state must weigh the revelation of that deception against the immediate, physical safety of its citizens.
A sudden, unexpected DNA result delivered at birth will inevitably designate scapegoats – primarily women. In our current climate of high GBV, it is a statistical certainty that this policy will be a catalyst for severe, sometimes fatal, retaliatory violence, not only against the woman but also against an innocent child whose only crime is to be born in the country. We cannot institute a policy where the collateral damage is the physical safety of mothers and the abandonment of newborns.
Treating the Disease, Not the Symptom
The outcry that the Ntlo ya Dikgosi is responding to is real, but paternity fraud is a symptom, not the root cause of the disease. The disease is the unravelling of the family social unit at an epidemic proportion. By framing this crisis as a ‘whodunit,’ we reduce a complex breakdown of social, economic, and moral communication into a punitive biological witch hunt.
This approach inherently divides. It pits men and women against one another. It fosters an environment of perpetual suspicion rather than mutual responsibility. A cohesive society cannot be built on a foundation of mandated mistrust.
Fostering Unity Over Division
If our ultimate goal is to protect and build up the family unit, our resources and political will must be directed toward fostering unity and cohesion before the family shatters. A strong family unit is the foundation of every prosperous society, no matter which part of the world it is in.
Instead of investing vast national resources into retrospective genetic testing, we must invest in:
Preventive Social Infrastructure
Equipping couples with the tools for honest communication, conflict resolution, and family planning.
Addressing the Drivers of Family Breakdown
Tackling the underlying economic stresses, shifting cultural norms, and communication gaps that lead to infidelity and the dissolution of trust.
Strengthening GBV Interventions
Ensuring that our communities are safe environments for all individuals, allowing for conflicts to be resolved through mediated, non-violent means.
Reimagining the Kgotla as a Hub for Restorative Family Justice
Instead of utilizing traditional leadership structures for reactive policing, we should empower the Ntlo ya Dikgosi and local headmen with the resources to transform the Kgotla into a proactive space for mediation. By integrating modern social workers and professional counsellors into the customary court system, we can provide couples with confidential, structured conflict resolution that preserves the dignity of the family unit rather than publicly fracturing it.
?Institutionalizing Accessible Family and Pre-Marital Counselling Frameworks
Relationship support must shift from a private luxury to a pillar of public social infrastructure. The state, in partnership with civil society and religious institutions, should establish widely accessible, culturally resonant pre-marital and early-parenthood counselling programs. Normalizing these interventions helps couples navigate shifting cultural norms, financial stresses, and expectations around fidelity long before trust reaches a breaking point.
?Alleviating the Economic Pressures on Young Households
We must candidly acknowledge that severe economic strain and high unemployment are primary accelerators of domestic friction, infidelity, and family dissolution. Introducing state-backed socio-economic initiatives, such as targeted financial literacy programs, young-family housing subsidies, or parental support networks, can directly alleviate the ‘pressure cooker’ environment that so often destabilizes households and triggers domestic crises.
?Foundational Educational Reform on Gender Relations and Mutual Respect
To curb the terrifying rates of Gender-Based Violence that threaten any policy aftermath, we must play the long game. This means integrating robust social-emotional learning, conflict resolution, and ethics of mutual respect directly into the national school curriculum from an early age. True social cohesion is built by teaching the next generation of boys and girls how to communicate through vulnerability and respect, rather than resorting to suspicion or violence.
The role of leadership is to heal the fractures within our communities, not to introduce a wedge that splits them further apart. We must honour the chiefs’ call to protect the family, but we must do so by building bridges of social cohesion, rather than setting traps that will inevitably catch the most vulnerable among our people.